Dilating on a Point - Music for 4 Voices: Revised

At the suggestion of my sister and brother-in-law (both accomplished musicians), I've made some revisions (the original is also available under this playlist). The dynamic range is increased by several methods and in different places: doubling the bass and tenor an octave apart, expanding some two part "chords" to 3 parts, and by simply changing the dynamic directives (you know...good old pp, p, mp, f etc). I've also added a couple measure to the ending. The desired effect was a more sustained dramatic arc... telling a long story rather than just many short stories. Have I hit the mark?
I still think this is the best thing I've ever written.
NOTE: I need to go through the score and fix a few anomalies and inconsistencies. As I was experimenting with changes, I took some shortcuts... like tying two eighth notes together when the first is on the beat, hence a quarter note would be more appropriate. I also try to be consistent in showing the beat (that's old school, for sure), and there are a few spots where I've failed to do that. So if you're reading along in the score and you notice this stuff... I know. -steve