Cosmic Dangers (the LTUE song)

Cosmic Dangers (the LTUE Song)

I must have been about thirteen, my parents sent me to the mezzanine
Up on BYU hill all alone, man, the place was manic
Nerds and hippies and all that ilk, playing guitar and singing filk
And rolling ten-sided dice, but no one worried that it might be Satanic

I saw Uncle Orson, he looked weird, he had a long and pointed beard
Mormons don’t have facial hair, unless they’re long dead
Steven Donaldson put me to sleep, but he didn’t seem half the creep
I kinda figured he might be, based on some of his books I’d read

CHORUS:

LTUE, you’re still the one for me
Vampires! Flying lizards!
Orc hordes! Elven wizards!
You’re learning how to write but more than that
You’re learning how to make friends
Klingons! Space rangers!
Nanite plagues! And other cosmic dangers!
You gotta do the work to learn exactly
How the story ends

Fast forward twenty-five years, and more than one change of gears
I’ve got an agent and a couple of books, he’s trying to see what sells
All the guests of the sympo-see-um, I made a list, I drove down to see ’em
Larry Correia, Dave Farland, Lee Modesitt, Howard Tayler, and Dan Wells

BRIDGE:

Beef chow mein will get you into the green room
You’d be surprised how far a little food can go

SURF SOLO

Here’s to my friend Jody, man, if you didn’t know, she’s
Written forty-odd books, and as people go, Jody’s the best
And Megan, I don’t know her, but she’s come up from LA, so let’s show her
A good nerdy time, like a good nerdy honored guest

CHORUS

So here’s to David Doering, with Dave it’s never boring
It’s about damn time somebody put Dave in a song
And all the rest, too many to list ’em, but if they left, man, I sure would miss ’em
Even the kids who are afraid to get my pronouns wrong

CHORUS