Obi-Wan Is A Jerk: What They Should Have Said... Episode 1

What if Obi-Wan Kenobi was a complete jerk to Luke Skywalker when it came to revealing the dark truth of Luke's father Darth Vader aka Anakin Skywalker? This Re-dubbing of the scene from Return of the Jedi allows the viewer to live that fantasy... Obi-Wan the drunkard annoying ghost reveals all the gruesome details in this short edit by Bryan Gay. Enjoy and feel free to comment below.

Dialogue from Return of the Jedi re-write and Re-dub below...

Luke:
"I can't do it R2 I can't go on alone."

Obi-Wan
"Boo creepy force ghost approaching... Yoda was a hypocrite Luke."

Luke
"Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan
"Ghostily ghost hmm mmm I don't know why I walked around that branch I should of walked
right through it."

Luke
"Why didnt' you tell me?" You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father.

Obi-Wan
"Your father went super Emo into the Dark side of the force. He should have been
a closet drinker but became Darth Vader. He really went loopy after mommy was
gone. He was Anakin no more. So what i told you was true from a certain point
of view."

Luke
"A certain point of view?"

Obi-Wan
"Luke would you rather I tell you the cold hard truth? I was attempting to be vague and civil but Im a ghost now so here goes... I literally had to cut your father into pieces. Is that better? I also watched him burn alive as the lava flowed so near him he combusted. I thought the traitor was dead. So I left him there to die alone in misery and agony. Pretty cold hearted. I was wrong."

Luke
"There is still good in him."

Obi-Wan
"He strangled your mother. Before I severely mangled him. You should probably kill him."

Luke
"I can't do it Ben."

Obi-Wan
"Have you listed to a thing Ive said? Lets go a step further. He choked your mother while she was pregnant with you."

Luke
"I can't kill my own father."

Obi-Wan
"Nobody listens to Obi-Wan if only there was someone else to haunt..."

Luke
Yoda spoke of another.

Obi-Wan
Wait you don't know you have a sister?

Luke
But I have no sister.

Obi-Wan
You haven't figured it out yet? I hope you haven't been kissing her or anything.
You still don't get it? Hello there. Anybody home? That dumbfounded look of curiosity is hologram perfect. Hint... she has really weird hairdos on occasion."

Luke