2 years ago

197

He Will Finish What He Has Started
The Testimony of Sister Jahnavi
Part 2

~ Recap: End of Part 1~
…I got into the further pit of vanity. And when that was not enough to cope up with rejection, I visited dating websites and had chats with unknown people. I had online relationships and they taught destructive things, and things which violated completely my conscience and I polluted the temple of God’ my body.

~ Part 2 begins ~
Even though I didn’t commit physical adultery, but my sins were not any less. And top of it, my hypocrisy, I used to even preach in the church, spoke prophecies. I was completely corrupt, deluded, blind, and full of pride. I didn’t have one inch of conviction of my dark acts and acted so good in the church. And this was long for thirteen years.
After the birth of my children, my conscience began telling me I should give up these things. I was afraid my dark deeds will affect my children. Again, it was only the hand of the Lord. I drifted my attention to give good things to my children their upbringing and partially I wanted to prove myself as a good mother. When there was no room for bad things Satan sent me more delusions to take projects to satisfy my vanities. I took many things that could consume my time instead of seeking God and family. I lost all interest in godly things and took up gardening, fashion designing, baking, and what not? All this to led me to nothing. I was distraught and my relationship with my husband got completely damaged. My family members were careful with me, my parents gave in to my behaviour and I made them pay all of my expenses. And I had a stressful relationship with a sister-in-law of mine I had quarrels and strife with her, and I didn’t know I was hurting so many and in turn, I was hurt too.
Dear family, can you see how worst and miserable I am? Still, how I received Lord's calling, that is completely the mercy of the Lord. In 2015 on New Year’s Eve, I got a promised word.
Isaiah 54:7 “For a moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion, I will bring you back.”
Frankly, I didn’t believe Lord can love a person like me. But He did and still does.
In 2018 I came across a YouTube channel of a certain prophet who made animations of present state of churches and deceptions in souls. Those videos led me deeply to getting convicted and I immediately repented of them. I came across a wonderful brother to whom I confessed all my sins and deeply repented. And through this brother Lord sent me a message that He has forgiven me and is longing to hold me. I was over the moon. I couldn’t contain my joy. Finally, I saw hope and liberation. Immediately I repented and asked forgiveness from my parents, my husband, and all other family members. I began to seek the Lord and day and night.
Also, I began to pray in a group with the brother and other sisters. Lord personally visited me, and everything changed radically. And through this brother, I came to know about Heartdwellers, about mother Claire and Father Ezekiel. At first, I didn’t accept their teachings but somehow, I was deeply drawn. During that phase, I got connected with Mother Mary Elisha. She was Nana at that time. Everything was going well until a test came and I fall again. As I was having encounters with the Lord, I began to be puffed up and filled with pride and refused to obey Jesus. It really grieved the Lord and I saw in a vision that Lord was walking away from me. That was the day I plunged into more darkness. For two months I thought I was listening from the Lord, but something was off. The voices began to direct me to do holy things, fasting, praying for hours. Whatever I did I was struggling, and I had no peace. I was not able to sleep for more than 2 hours, because I was attacked all the time in sleep. I had lewd dreams, I was sexually attacked every night and by the morning I was ashamed and guilty. I don't know what was happening. I contacted Mother Mary Elisha then she discerned that is a lying spirit. And I gave up seeking to be in intimacy with the Lord and returned to normal prayer life. That’s the fatal mistake I did instead of repentance I [clung] to my own ideas and opinions and tried to build my own spiritual life.
I was battling day and night against these sexual dreams. I thought I am completely lost and there is no way. I cried and cried every hour and every day and night. I knocked on many people's doors and asked for help. Many prayed but my situation was still the same. I wanted deliverance, and I had no change. My husband was more frustrated than ever. I once again contacted Mother Mary Elisha. She pulled Rhema’s and said this is a cross and Lord has great plans for my sanctification. I didn’t understand at that time.
I thought I was sinful, and these attacks were because of my sins. That I am an addict, and I can never come off from my habits. These were all lies of the enemy. You see, when we accept Jesus, we must believe that He has forgiven us and is going to change us. Satan will not stop lying to us that we will never change, and our sins will remain and that will lead us to more misery. That’s what happened to me, I couldn’t believe that Lord could love me and forgive me.
For three years, again, I was in darkness, I cried out and prayed but nothing changed. My prayers were out of insecurity and fear. I feared Lord is displeased with me and I compared myself with others. More than the truth of the Lord I believed more in lies of the enemy.
In these hurtful and agonizing situations, I knew there was someone who was backing me up with prayers and tears. Her eyes were on me since I was born, and in every phase of my life, I somehow didn’t cross certain limits which could completely cut me off from the Lord. She was none other than Blessed Mother.
When I came to the Heartdwellers channel, I was surprised by the messages of Mother Claire. The simplicity and approach of the Lord towards His children and His great love changed my religious mindset. But I couldn’t agree with blessed mother teachings and cloud of witnesses. That was Catholic for me. So, I carefully followed only the teachings of Jesus. I was very much drawn to the way the Lord speaks to His bride. His humility deeply affected me to change my thinking of a just and punishing God. As for Blessed Mother, I didn’t apply myself.
My view of God was distorted. Even though I went through Heartdwellers teachings, I depended much on feelings. For me to be with God is supernatural experiences in worship or to be used in gifts. Which is good but there was more to it.
I was in my usual prayers, worship, and taking communion. And I also took translation ministry from Mother Mary Elisha’s channel. I thought that should be enough to grow spiritually.
Lord wanted to open my eyes to complete truth and then He allowed a turbulent storm that really turned my world upside down.
Suddenly I began to have demonic attacks. It started in Halloween week and then it intensified so much that I started to have doubts and fear of my life. I was still struggling with sexual attacks at night, but attacks began even in my prayer time. I heard voices in my head, blasphemies, and many perverted thoughts. It made me ashamed and guilty. I panicked to go before people. I couldn’t just control these horrible thoughts and I was continually tormented to harm others and commit suicide. I couldn't understand what was happening. I reached Mother Mary Elisha once again. She discerned all these attacks are lying and condemnation spirits. And she told me that Lord is calling me to be a priest. I said what? No way, that’s not possible. Here I am struggling, and this cannot be true. But she kept on counselling it’s a cross and it’s for my sanctification. I couldn’t accept it. I reasoned with God why I need to suffer? When I have given up old lifestyle and wanting to be holy, then why am I supposed to suffer?
I didn’t pay heed to her counsel and continued to seek others for deliverance. No matter how much time I spend in prayers or people praying for me there were terrible torments, and I couldn’t feel the presence of God.
It went on for months. I was so much under attack, that I became resentful against Lord, thinking there was no hope. He is punishing me and hates me. I was on the verge of insanity. I begged my husband to send me to an asylum. They took me to a physiatrist, and they all did their efforts to heal me, but all measures failed.
Finally, the truth came. Once again, I sought help from Mother Mary Elisha, and she took a Rhema message from the Heartdwellers website that brought out reasons for my misery and hidden sins. The message was titled’’ I missed the Lord” Lord was admonishing Mother Claire for neglecting her grandchildren when they came to visit her. It greatly displeased the Lord and that message convicted me of my negligence towards my children. I asked forgiveness from the Lord and my husband and began to change my lifestyle. I lived a very sedentary lifestyle and such a lazy bone that I used to sleep more than 10-16 hours. My laziness was the main reason for oppression from the enemy. I thank the Lord, in His great mercy, and the suffering He allowed because I could see my hidden sins. As soon as I rectified my laziness the sexual attacks ceased. Now I sleep peacefully. My second sin was disorder in my life, my home, and my family. It is so important to stay devoted to your husband. I was living in a rebellious state of neglecting my husband’s needs and overruling his instructions. I had a hard time submitting to my husband but in time Lord's grace helped me and now my marriage is healing day by day. And now I am helping him in ministry. And thirdly, Lord showed my selfish life. I was so obsessed with myself, I had seldom time for others. I had a lot of resentment against my parents and brother. With the Blessed Mother's help, I could let go of all of it and ask forgiveness from my parents and we are united. Now we both sometimes pray Mother of Mercy Chaplet. Truly her intercession has brought many graces to my life. And mostly I had a lot of strife with my husband's family members. But now Lord has been healing our relationships. Because of the change in my behaviour, other family members are witnessing the Lord's transformation in me.
I hated suffering, we are taught we suffer because of our sins and therefore I resisted the Lord fiercely, but Lord was patient with me and continued to give me graces to see the truth and beauty of cross.
And then Lord ordained me as a priest. And I began to share my faith with others and of Blessed Mother. And now many have come to believe and are praying to her. There was a time when I hated taking Communion but now Eucharist has become my source of life and comfort.
Dear viewers, with my testimony you can see how God took a corrupted person into a priest? I have been unfaithful to the Lord and rejected Him several times. For more than 30 years I continued in the sin of vanity and destructive behaviours which ruined me and the people around me. Because of shame and guilt, I kept running away from Him. And kept ignoring His invitation. I firmly believed Lord has rejected me, despises me, and I can never match up to Him. Still, He loved me and proved me wrong with His unconditional love and sent me little signs to prove He is with me.
Even though I was wayward He kept protecting me. I thank His mercy and glorify His mercy—it is His mercy that I could come out of that pit of corruption. Even now when I feel condemned, I turn towards His mercy. He changed me and embraced me when I was in the lowest. When I was feeling ashamed and guilty of my past sins, Lord told me He was never ashamed of me. I found my true love, Jesus Christ.
He has been continuously guiding me and speaking to me through Rhema cards, and Bible Promises which have helped me live condemnation free—continues to show His great mercy even though I fall many times and encouraged me not to give up.
I am thankful to my Blessed Mother for her love and prayers towards me. Her intercession has worked wonders in my life. My family got healed of Covid, without any treatment. My brother lost job and all hope in his life and when I and my mother prayed Mom’s Chaplet and within two days, he got a better job. My husband was having longstanding legal problems with the bank and after praying to her it got settled in less than two weeks. It was after praying Rosary all the attacks began to subside. Thanks to her powerful prayers, she is truly a gift to me. I also thank the Lord for giving me a wonderful mother and mentor…Mother Mary Elisha. In my hardest time, she stood with me and prayed for me. I have a wonderful Heartdwellers priest family. We all love and pray for each other.
I thank the Lord for showering me so much love for which I have longed since childhood. He gave me a promise that ‘’He will finish what He has started” and I believe in Him. What Lord did in my life—He can do more beautiful things in your life too. Be encouraged and be blessed.

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