How to deactivate a Cat

Ah yes, I too just hate it when my cat is just so suddenly climbing the front door like Spiderman early in the morning.
As a cat owner, I’d like to point out that this does NOT hurt the kitten, nor does it have the chance to permanently paralyze the animal.

It’s just the cat keeping still because it thinks its mother is carrying it. Like, Lord, use your mini-brains. :(