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But As For Me...
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There are times that the Lord will call you in a way you are not used to. In fact, it is striking. It takes a hold of your whole heart. Your spirit knows it is the Lord, but it is not like before. It is weighty. Then you go to and fro to try and explain it to people, and they do not understand what you are saying. Your family and friends think you have gone overboard.
Another thing happens. Everything you have done before to seek Him is empty. This adds to a deeper human kind of frustration. Many who have experienced this find themselves weeping and fasting, even isolating themselves in search for the Lord to disclose to them what is happening. But they will find that it only emphasizes that profound starkness.
There is only silence and the weightiness only grows weightier. There is a bearing down upon their hearts even more than before. Many find themselves ready to give up. They get tired of 'trying' to seek the Lord, they become exhausted in the searchful methods and walk away. They are too quick in "casting away the confidence in the Lord." They "cast away the cords" from themselves.
The One who is calling you is the very One who intends to answer. There are things you cannot see right now, things that are not ready to be shown to you, and entrusted to you yet. He is preparing you, and that weightiness is only the sound of the Master's footsteps drawing ever nearer to you. He cannot be rushed. You will only destroy yourself in forcing it. Be at peace, and let God work. He is preparing something for you to do. This is the work of spiritual maturity as well.
"Never was a faithful prayer lost. Some prayers have a longer voyage than others, but then they return with their richer lading at last, so that the praying soul is a gainer by waiting for an answer." ~William Gurnall
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