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🎤 Psalm 38 Song - My Sin
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Many of us get glimpses of our own short-comings from time-to-time. When it happens, I think we immediately distract ourselves from the reality of our inadequacy. We don't want to dwell on it.
And why would we!? It doesn't seem beneficial to frequently criticize oneself, and others may start thinking we're just “looking for sympathy,” or “fishing for complements.”
And yet at the core of Christian belief, we have a requirement to admit we are sinners, saved only by God's grace and mercy. Somehow we must acknowledge our inner deceit and faithlessness, at the same time as we recognize our heritage as children of the King of heaven! I think this is harder than it seems.
It's not enough to make a general confession of sin. If we are to recognize our genuine need for grace, then we must fully realize our falseness. The deceit of my heart may be vastly different from yours! If you are as cunning as I am, you have probably erected many sophisticated methods to avoid pain. You may have constructed ways to attempt meeting your heart's hunger, while masking it as a selfless act.
Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is more deceitful than all else / And is desperately sick; / Who can understand it?”
Alas, the answer is clear: only God can understand and see through our true motivations. Without inviting him in to clean house; without asking him to see if there is any wicked way in me, I am likely doomed to repeat my folly forever.
You might think, at the outset, that this honest appraisal takes courage -- but you would be wrong. It takes faith. Courage, by definition and word-origin, comes from the self, the heart. Faith is given us by God, and faith leads us to trust in His goodness. You see, we won't be destroyed by this vulnerable honesty, because only God can destroy, and he chooses not to.
In Psalm 38, David owns his sin in a profoundly personal and intimate confession. He's been blest with a unimpeded view of his wicked and godless heart. Rather than hide this pain from himself and attempt to conceal it from God, he groans before the Father, imploring forgiveness and healing.
Is your heart trying to convince you that you're not so bad? I invite you to ask for eyes to perceive, like David, into the foul and festering reality of your soul.
Can you do so, in faith? So be it.
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A Penitent Sufferer’s Plea for Healing
A Psalm of David, for the memorial offering.
1 O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger,
or discipline me in your wrath.
2 For your arrows have sunk into me,
and your hand has come down on me.
3 There is no soundness in my flesh
because of your indignation;
here is no health in my bones
because of my sin.
4 For my iniquities have gone over my head;
they weigh like a burden too heavy for me.
5 My wounds grow foul and fester
because of my foolishness;
6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate;
all day long I go around mourning.
7 For my loins are filled with burning,
and there is no soundness in my flesh.
8 I am utterly spent and crushed;
I groan because of the tumult of my heart.
9 O Lord, all my longing is known to you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs, my strength fails me;
as for the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my affliction,
and my neighbours stand far off.
12 Those who seek my life lay their snares;
those who seek to hurt me speak of ruin,
and meditate treachery all day long.
13 But I am like the deaf, I do not hear;
like the mute, who cannot speak.
14 Truly, I am like one who does not hear,
and in whose mouth is no retort.
15 But it is for you, O Lord, that I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
16 For I pray, ‘Only do not let them rejoice over me,
those who boast against me when my foot slips.’
17 For I am ready to fall,
and my pain is ever with me.
18 I confess my iniquity;
I am sorry for my sin.
19 Those who are my foes without cause are mighty,
and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
20 Those who render me evil for good
are my adversaries because I follow after good.
21 Do not forsake me, O Lord;
O my God, do not be far from me;
22 make haste to help me,
O Lord, my salvation.
New Revised Standard Version Bible: Anglicised Edition, copyright © 1989, 1995 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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