The psychology of blame & how to stop blaming others
Blame is a destructive learned behaviour that we use as a defence mechanism to protect ourselves from shame or punishment. It is a behaviour we learn as a child to help us cope with the world.
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Chapters
0:00 Introduction
0:23 Why we blame
1:12 The pattern of blame
2:30 The cost of blame
2:58 The circuit breaker
4:03 Conclusion
As an adult we use blame to deflect pain but it has become a normal state of mind to cope with judgement, worry, blame and most significantly to cope with an inferiority complex.
The ability to blame someone else allows us to artificially inflate our ego so that we feel superior to someone.
Blame eats into our day-to-day life because it is a background process using up energy in our subconscious mind as our efficient brain looks out for opportunities to blame other people and find fault with things. Precious energy is spent on blaming and little is left for the enjoyment of living a life we love.
Using a circuit breaker we are able to break the pattern of blame. The key is in noticing that we are blaming something or someone. The hardest part is to ask the question "What am I afraid of?" This helps us to get authentic about what the real problem is. Knowing the real problem gives us clarity and this clarity affords us better solutions than to just blame.
Becoming faster and noticing a blame situation creates new subconscious patterns that stop you midway through a blame game and eventually prevents you from blaming in the first place.
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