Judge, Jury and Sexecutioner - One Man Opera - Trial by Jury

One man sings 'Oh, never, never, never' and 'May it please you' from Gilbert and Sullivan's opera 'Trial by Jury'.

Lyrics:

JUDGE.
Oh, never, never, never, since I joined the human race,
Saw I so exquisitely fair a face.

JURY.
Ah, sly dog! Ah, sly dog!

JUDGE.
How say you? Is she not designed for capture?

FOREMAN .
We’ve but one word, my lord, and that is – Rapture!

PLAINTIFF.
Your kindness, gentlemen, quite overpowers!

JURY.
We love you fondly, and would make you ours!

BRIDESMAIDS.
Ah, sly dogs! Ah, sly dogs!

JURY.
We love you fondly, and would make you ours!
Monster! Monster! dread our fury!
There’s the Judge and we’re the Jury,
Come, substantial damages!
Substantial damages!
Damages!
Dam –

USHER.
Silence in Court!

COUNSEL.
May it please you, my lud!
Gentlemen of the Jury!
With a sense of deep emotion,
I approach this painful case;
For I never had a notion
That a man could be so base,
Or deceive a girl confiding,
Vows, etcetera, deriding.

JURY.
He deceived a girl confiding,
Vows, etcetera, deriding.

COUNSEL.
See my interesting client,
Victim of a heartless wile!
See the traitor all defiant
Wear a supercilious smile!
Sweetly smiled my client on him,
Coyly woo’d and gently won him.

JURY.
Sweetly smiled his client on him,
Coyly woo’d and gently won him.

COUNSEL.
Swiftly fled each honeyed hour
Spent with this unmanly male!
Camberwell became a bower,
Peckham an Arcadian Vale,
Breathing concentrated otto! –
An existence à la Watteau.

JURY.
Breathing concentrated otto! –
An existence à la Watteau.

COUNSEL.
Picture, then, my client naming,
And insisting on the day:
Picture him excuses framing
Going from her far away:
Doubly criminal to do so,
For the maid had bought her trousseau!

JURY.
Doubly criminal to do so,
For the maid had bought her trousseau!

COUNSEL.
Cheer up, my pretty – oh, cheer up!

JURY.
Cheer up, cheer up, we love you!

PLAINTIFF.
Ah me!

USHER.
Cheer up!

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