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Arrogance in Me and Beltane
Arrogance in Me and Beltane
Well, here is a message the enemy did NOT want me to put out! The whole thing crashed on me, and I was right towards the end of the message. And it crashed and went down and I lost it all. So, here we go again!
Thank You, Lord, for being faithful to correct my faults and set me on the right path. I trust You, Jesus, to cleanse my heart of these sins. Amen.
Well, my dear family, I miss not sharing with you for a few days--but my computer blew up! Not sure what to do about it yet, it's in the shop. But I've been scrambling just to do ordinary tasks, because this computer doesn't have anything set up. Lots of fun...16 hour days of fun.
I also am not sure if the recent message I began on it can be recovered. But the Lord certainly can recover it for me. I wanted to let you know what happened, and I really would appreciate your prayers to get back in the saddle. Hoping I won't need a new computer, but I think the motherboard may be blown. In any case, I wanted to put the word out to you. That's why I've been out of pocket.
You may have been experiencing an increase in difficulties and attacks before the May 1st pagan holiday - the Sabbat of Beltane. The time preceding this sabbat is spent fasting, and doing as much harm, exerting their will on others as they can. It is similar to Halloween rituals which are unspeakable. The idea being to please Satan, who will reward those who are most effective in carrying out his agendas. So, if you've had an increasingly hard couple of weeks, or month, that's why. In part, at least.
So, we want to pray for those souls who are misguided into these religions and exercising their rituals to bring about a desired result, most often very hurtful to others, especially Christians.
On the mountain almost 20 years ago, we were more or less surrounded by generational Satanists who took this sabbat very seriously. Ezekiel and I experienced a separation just before May the first, and there were other serious repercussions on the property.
Another reason is the Lord's frustration in taking Him seriously, that truly there is little time left. It is difficult, after all, when some of us have been waiting 30 years for this event--and it continues to be put off. Scoffers will scoff.
But believers... What do we to do when we get a warning? So many warnings before; so many close calls.
Well I, for one, force myself to take it seriously and review in my mind how ripe the time is. How many things are really lined up and just waiting for the word to be released. We just can't afford to even think for a moment that this is another "cry wolf."
For us, these are times of testing and trials to see if we will live the Gospel in Charity and come through trials persevering in God's love.
Even as James wrote, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you encounter trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Allow perseverance to finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4
So, dear ones, we are going from glory to glory. And though trials are difficult, the fruit is very sweet.
And there have been trials all around me. For one, this is the third time I began recording this message, because the settings on this computer weren't right. Pro-tools quit on me twice. Oh well...
Anyway, there've been the kind of trials that I kinda hate. You know, when you have to speak up about something that needs to be changed. And that makes me feel so self-righteous, and I really dislike having to be in that position. But it had to be done.
And as I was pondering these adjustments I had to make with others, I really wanted to address my own pride. I know it's there. I know it's ugly. And I know I am a blind to my own faults. But in one sparkling moment of truth the Lord revealed an ugly self-righteous attitude that I'd had.
As I had mentioned to you before, the father of my children came to work for us. After about a week, he felt something that made him angry with me. I would say it was a cocky, self-righteous attitude from me. That's what I think it was. And he quit.
I had been feeling a darkness in the atmosphere and knew something wasn't quite right. This was around the time when the migrants from central America were pushing their way up to our border through Mexico. I was given some incorrect information that there were Chinese involved somehow with this. Something like 5,000 Chinese. I was pretty skeptical when I heard that, but this source had been so reliable before, so I mentioned it.
Well, it turned out that there was some kind of Chinese dynamic going on, because President Trump made a threatening statement to the world about how his submarines were stationed around China and could destroy the entire country within minutes. But that was the end of it. No troops.
Well, my dear friend took exception to that, and said there were no Chinese--and I was deceived. Then I had told him how the enemy has little demons that make things disappear on our computers...and I quipped that "if you're going to work here, you might as well get used to it." He took offense to the fact that I was telling him what to believe when I was having problems on my computer. And I knew something in my heart didn't feel right...there was arrogance behind that statement. And not only that statement, but I felt an underlying attitude of arrogance in myself that was truly nauseating.
And he has been writing a book about Cuba for years and years and years. When he brought up how the Cubans were going to be saved, or at least over-throw the oppressive government, I shared with him things that I'd seen on the Transformation tapes that talked about El Melango. And how a group of praying ladies turned the town upside down into revival. And now they're growing the largest fruits in the world. A very, very stunning example of prayer.
But after I said that, I thought, 'You know, maybe that wasn't very kind. He already had an ending, and who am I to suggest that there was a better one. How arrogant am I?!'
So, I wrote him a letter of apology.
I said, "I really do owe you an apology. I think I've been somewhat of a classical jerk...and blind to it."
And now, guys. This is the THIRD time I'm having to read this to record it. So, the Lord is really driving home a point about this arrogance!
Anyway. Going back to the letter:
"I am really sorry I came across so forcefully about the weird things that happen to our computers. I should never have been so arrogant about what I believed to be true. For one, I could be wrong, and I have been wrong in the past. So, please forgive me for telling you what to believe.
"Also, I enjoyed talking to you about your book. And thinking back now, I never should have forced my opinion on you on how cities change--another arrogant presumption. That was wrong. Please forgive me.
"I know there are other ways I offended you when you were here, and I am very sorry for being insensitive. Please forgive me for the stupid things I did and didn't realize how they would affect you.
"Oh, and as far as the Chinese being in Central America, you were right on that one. It was misinformation. And I'm being much more careful these days about vetting things.
"Well, I think short-term memory loss can be a very good thing sometimes. When you don't want to recall all your mess-ups. And also when you want to see a really good movie for the second time. And you don't end up beating yourself up for all those mistakes you made in the past.
"I know I was foolish at times, even in our marriage, and it made it hard for you. I would have done things so differently if now were then--knowing that we might be divergent in our life paths. For all those things, I am truly sorry. I know there has been deception in my life, and that's why I've written so much about discernment. But when a soul has a bad case of Pride, like I do, the Lord allows that to bring you to your senses. I'm really sorry if you felt victimized by that.
"I hope someday we can laugh at these things in Heaven, and that we will all be healed of what we did to ourselves and what we did to each other."
Love, always,
Clare
Well, to my delight, he wrote back a very conciliatory letter that brought tears to my eyes.
"Dear Clare,
"Thank you for your kind and humble letter. If your problem is Pride, you sure took a sledgehammer to it here"
Yeah... I wish there weren't so much left to go.
"I'm glad to hear you're going to be more careful about vetting information in the future. I have to do the same thing. These days, with everyone pushing their own agenda--forget the facts! You can't be too careful.
"Looking back, I remember that it was you who brought me to the Lord. For that I will always be grateful. I've had a long and winding road with Him, but I'm still His. I'm done with churches, but never with Jesus. His Church is not made with hands, not contained by man. My spiritual walk can best be described by the writer David Foster Wallace: 'The truth will set you free--but not until it is finished with you.'"
Yeah... I know that one!
"I read that, and I said 'Ouch!' How very, very true.
"As for the rest, what happened with us, my answer is that our children are our redemption. Honestly, Clare, they are the best people I have ever known. Kind and generous and sensitive and forgiving. I admire them and how they handle the world. They are inspirations to me. Compared to the living examples of their lives, the pains of the past don't amount to a hill of beans."
And he signed off 'Love.' That was very sweet.
I can't tell you how relieved I was to get this answer. I thought he would be angry with me to the end of time. But he is a very good man, after all. And we just were not a great fit for what the Lord had in mind.
I remember telling him back then, when I was studying to be a trans-medium, etc.etc. and into the New Age, that I was on a search for God and I would go anywhere He took me. And that could have an effect on our future.
If only I had done the right thing...
Well, dear ones, we did have four beautiful children and they are good people, so the Lord brought good out of our mistakes, after all. He truly is an artist at doing just that.
I also wrote back to him, "Remember. 50% of that is yours!" Of their good behavior and kindness.
Lord, do You have something to add?
Jesus began, "My Love, nobody knows just how deep that root of Pride is in themselves. You should always be on guard and ready to fight this pernicious evil that is a calling card from Satan. The one card he is always ready to play is the Pride Card. This is the one that opens the door for all the others and makes fools out of good people unless they are extremely aware of their own flesh and corruption.
"I wanted you to write that letter, because you truly were arrogant and offensive to Me, as well as to the angels present. Could you not feel stirrings of things inside of you that were 'off?"'
"Yes, Lord, I could. But I didn't know what to make of them. I thought it was just so cool that he was here and came to work with us. But I should have suspected something in me was off kilter."
Oh, I have felt this before, dear ones! Being so cock-sure of my opinion that I just rolled right over others. And Ezekiel has been a wonderful example and teacher. And it's really toned me down. I used to be really, really aggressive.
Okay, well.
The Lord continued, "But you have gotten much better at not doing that. For one, you've been experiencing your frailties and failures almost every day for quite some time, and I have arranged it that way."
Tears. I started crying.
I said, "Yes, Lord, I am not a pretty sight. I see so much of my corruption and I don't know how to rid myself of it except to trust that You will do what has to be done to make me humble. Because more than anything else in the world, I want to be like Your Mother. Soft, gentle, kind--but knowing the truth and cleaving to it. And her trust, her knowing of your faithfulness. Her kindness in dealing with faults, yet the immense powers of the angels you have assigned to her to rout the demons--but without ever dreaming of taking the credit.
"Blessed are you dear woman, chosen to be the mother of God."
And by the way, Family, when I say mother of God, I am merely affirming that the Trinity is One. Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Not that Mary had anything to do with creating Father God. But that the three are One.
"Yes, of course I want to be like You, Jesus. But she is a creature not the Creator. And she was faithful in her role, not only to be Your mother, but to be the first Apostle. A prophet and the one to sacrifice her son on the Cross for her great love for all men and for You. That's why I ask her every day: Please, make me pleasing to your Son."
Jesus continued, "I can't tell what that does for Me, Beloved. I am truly edified by your heart-felt prayer and she is committed to assisting you with your faults and making you pleasing to Me, more and more every day.
"We are one Body, Clare. Even to the flesh, as you partake of My Body and Blood. And all of Heaven is committed to seeing My Kingdom come, My will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
"Time is short, My Beloved ones. Make the best of it. I come quickly. Make Me proud on that Day by being about My Father's business. I love you all so tenderly; it breaks My heart how you all are suffering. But on that Day, every tear shall be wiped away and you will shine like the stars in Heaven.
"Until then, keep Me company. Keep careful watch over your souls, especially you, Clare. The enemy is quite clever, and you are quite weak. But as long as you walk in Charity, I am here to protect and warn you of danger ahead, even as I did today."
Lord, if only I could want only what You want. Please help me to be resolute in this.
Jesus continued, "Each day, Clare. I come to you and all who wait patiently for Me, and I infuse you with virtue and strength to do what is right. But your flesh is a force to be reckoned with until you are safe with Me in Heaven.
"So, be vigilant My Bride. Be resolute. Love Me beyond all other people and things. Then you will be safe. Our intimate time of pure love ...
(not anything sexual, in case that comes into your mind)
"Our intimate time of pure love together nurtures your soul and strengthens you for the coming battles. That is why I do not want you to skip morning time with Me; you cannot afford to."
Yeah. And looking back, the days that I have, there've been consequences.
"All of you My Precious Body of Heartdwellers--you are all the joy of My visitations on Earth. To have you waiting for Me with no other motive than to love Me is a wonder of wonders, and makes you the most desirable Bride on Earth. Keep watch over yourselves and for Me.
"I will come quickly."
And I'm going to do another message about Him coming quickly after this one. Ezekiel has a letter he wants me to share with all Heartdwellers.
And again, we're being put on the alert for the Rapture and to be sure to warn people that it is coming.
God bless you, Heartdwellers. Thank you for your support. We do need your support and we appreciate it when you help us out. We've got employees to take care of.
And books to buy and have printed. And we're going to be starting on a new book on Discernment. And the demonic realm. Carol's editing that right now.
So, we have these projects. And anyone who wants any of our books, all you have to do is send me a letter. And I will send you what I have, gladly. I don't want anyone to go without a book. That's why we take our donations and set some aside for this very purpose. So that everyone can have a book. A book that they need.
So, the Lord bless you dear ones. And thank you for taking care of us. We need your help and we appreciate it greatly. God bless you.
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