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Pride... A.G.A.I.N. UGH!
Pride... A.G.A.I.N. UGH!
Thank you, Dear Jesus, for guiding and warning us to beware of our own opinions about things.
Well, dear ones, I hope you're not all bored to tears when I have to go 'round the mountain again with a weakness. I tell you about it in hopes that someone in the audience will truly be edified. But I don't blame you if you're getting tired of it.
I am learning; it is just so very slow and tedious, because taking pride in my own opinion goes so deep! It is a root that will take time to kill off. You know how it is with old trees, their root system goes out hundreds of feet from their trunk...?
Well, I'm finding out just how far out I am!
So, it's about singing again. Tonight, I just happened to see Susan Boyle next to one of our videos, a lady that I greatly admire. Who, at age 58, sang with such passion she won the Britain Has Talent show. She came on looking very homely with bushy eyebrows and typical middle-age plump and shocked everyone when she opened her mouth.
I thought I was inspired after watching her original appearance, but later, thoughts tried to creep in. And I started idolizing her, to be blunt, and thinking I should adopt more of her style, because I am held back by inhibitions. This is something I'm working on in singing.
So, I came to Jesus.
Lord... Nothing is hidden from You, You know my thoughts. Please help me.
He began, "You're making steady progress. Do not let anything stop you, Clare. Keep going. Don't relent, don't give in, don't cave in and don't compare. Please don't compare. Do you want to lose what is special about My gift to you?"
No.
"Then you have to stop looking, listening, formulating. It is good for you to sing without fear and inhibition, which you do have. But don't trade the mansion for the guest house. What I have for you is way better than what I have had for others, in that it suits you and only you. I know the temptation is overwhelming."
Oh, Lord! That's an understatement!
"But, it is doable. You just have to mind your own talent, your own gift, your own grace, your own sound. If the enemy can't stop you, he will divert you only a fraction of a degree and your journey will end at the wrong destination. Do not allow this. Stay true to yourself and to Me, Clare. Stay true."
What if I don't quite know what is true and what if I want to try some other things? All these inhibitions I have had, I'd like to break out of them. I feel like I'm in a bondage.
"Well, that is true enough--and you are being led out of that place gently, just as I would have it. Clare, the enemy tries to make you restless in order to lead you away from center. He reasons with you, 'Well, you've been so inhibited all these years--you should try to sound like so and so.' He is quite clever, you know. He didn't turn Eden upside-down by being stupid.
"But he has nothing on Me. That is why I direct you the way I do, because I know what he's after, and if you follow My instructions to the letter you will be safe.
"But My little lamb, if you jump the fence to explore new options...well...I can't restrain you. I will do nothing against your will. And most often, it is that willfulness and pride, in the form of, 'Oh, I know what the Lord said.... BUT. It would be fun to just try this out--just for fun.'
"You see, Clare, the enemy knows your weak points. Forewarned is forearmed."
Lord, I know you are right, but something is chafing at me--like I am missing something.
Jesus continued, "You are missing a lot. You've got that right. But you will get it the way I want you to, not the way the enemy proposes. He is subtle, Clare, but if you are obedient, he will get nowhere!"
OK... alright.
"Listen to Me, Clare. Please let this sink in very deeply. What I have given you is yours alone; do not give it away, do not try to alter it, do not use your earthly wisdom.
"Come to Me innocent, like a little child, and stay on the path I have ordained for you. There is so much I am putting in you that others do not have, and it is the hour for you to blossom--not uproot the newly planted tree. There will be plenty of fruit on this tree, unless you start grafting in other ones. Then the whole harvest will be spoiled.
"I can tell you over and over again, but until you crush that Pride of thinking you might know best, you won't get it. Aren't we working on Humility right now? What is your favorite image of humility?"
Oh, yes. Something I learned as a Franciscan sister.
St. Francis described true and perfect obedience under the simile of a dead body. And to me, perfect Obedience is synonymous with Humility.
'Take up a dead body,' he said, 'and lay it where you will. You will see that it does not resist being moved, or complain of its position, or ask to be left alone. If it is lifted onto a chair, it does not look up, but down. If it is clothed in purple, it looks paler than ever. In the same way, one who is truly obedient does not question why he is moved, does not mind where he is placed, and does not demand to be transferred. If he is promoted to high office, he remains as humble as before, and the more he is honored, the more unworthy he considers himself.'
That's a quote from the Omnibus of Sources.
"But My amendment to that would be, 'One who is truly obedient does not question why he is told what to do, what the possible results will be, how he could be better; he just complies. If you truly trusted Me, Clare, you would not concern yourself with what others sound like, but stay on the path you are on and let Me introduce you to yourself as I have longed to see you.
"Trust Me, please... little, little Clare. Trust Me."
I'm sorry, Lord. Jesus, truly I trust You and I renounce this ugly pride. Please take it away from me--it is noxious. I see that is one of my bondages and I long to be free of it. Oh, thank You, Lord, for your kind and gentle patience with me.
He replied, "I couldn't love you more, Clare. And I will bless your faith in My judgment beyond your expectations. Thank you for trusting Me. Thank you so very much, My Daughter."
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