Handling Children Who Are Not Living For Me

Handling Children Who Are Not Living For Me

Dear Lord, fill us with your gentle conviction and unconditional love, that we may do the right things with our children. Amen

Well, Heartdwellers, we have been dealing with situations that are painfully close to home and of course I long for the best outcome when it comes to my children finding good spouses. Then again, the fear of God and Hell is not strong enough to keep them pure until they are married. That is painful but there's nothing I can do except state my case and let it go. But I haven't let it go. I have struggled and become embroiled in the potential for my adult child to be hurt--again.

I have seen them hurt recently and now another situation is looming and I feel very uneasy. I've been so disturbed by it that last night I couldn't play the piano, I went to bed early. Tonight again it's crept up on me. Oh, how I hate to see people hurt and of course, especially the ones dearest to me. So I have been harsh and judgmental with the one who is not a family member.

How do I balance that Lord?? You give me readings from the Scriptures about correcting a wrong spirit and I do so in love. And then my mind keeps going and finding other attitudes that possibly lead up to serious faults that could cause my dear ones to be hurt in the long run. So, I judge and judge and judge. And each time I judge You allow me to have an accident or misplace something. So, I'm getting the message that I've gone over the line. And I am truly sorry, Lord, please forgive me.

Jesus began, "It's good to hear you say that. How can you encourage someone you are always judging? Don't you know these pricks are felt by others when you do that? You really have a bad habit when you see something out of place. You need to pray not judge. Pray not judge. More often it is because you feel rejection and even if it is true, it is better for you to be hopeful and pray for the best outcome."

Well yeah, I feel that the morality that the Lord has set forth in the Scriptures and that we live our life by is being transgressed. And it's a rejection thing. It's like...how do I get through to people when they're going beyond that point. And I look back on myself. How did the Lord get through to me? In the end, it was Love. It was Love. That's how He got me. But I can see where having any other attitude is truly counter-productive and will scare people away.

So I said to the Lord, 'How do I handle this sinking feeling inside?'

He answered, "Prayer."

Jesus, please take this plague of disappointment and fear away.

"I'm glad you identified fear," He replied.

I'm sorry.

"Have you forgotten that I am in control here?"

Have I?

"Yes. Release this to Me and you won't be on an emotional roller coaster. I love them both more than you ever could, Clare. Both have lessons, both have opportunities, both need great wisdom. You backing off until you are really needed is a good thing. It will make for more peace in the house and work environment. Don't you see how tied into this drama you are? I want you to stay as a neutral observer, one who prays the burden away and then moves on. When you feel this sadness and burden, come to Me and allow Me to lift it off your shoulders and onto the Cross.

"So many times, My children, your concerns become overbearing and you cannot function. A sucker punch, so to speak. I know you love your family members but you will never love them more than I do. I want you to understand you are looking at two aspects when you have family members in turmoil. First, you are looking at your child or husband or wife--and then, you are looking at a soul. There are times I must work with them as a soul, and yes, it can be very painful. In that case, I ask you to please release them to Me.

"You cannot handle the pain you feel and you become too interior to the situation. Then it interferes with the work you must do. Step back and realize: I am in control. Because you are Mine, because you Love Me, because you serve Me, I am most solicitous for your children.

You see, when you look after My children, I look after yours. And you will never be capable of looking after them as well as I am.

"If you were looking at a stranger in the same circumstances, it would be easier to see that soul objectively and to acknowledge that certain decisions bring with them certain consequences, and you would bring the burden to Me and lay it at the Cross. But as a parent or spouse, you want to protect them. From what? From the lessons they must learn?

"Look at the whole picture, not just the circumstances. Look at destinies, look at Heaven or Hell, look at their need for repentance. Then allow Me to act in their lives without becoming deeply disturbed, knowing that anything I allow will form them in character and lead to the very best results. You cannot shield them from the consequences or they will never grow up. And if that has been your pattern in the past, no wonder I am having to work with them as adults. Do you see?"

Regrettably, Lord. Yes, I do.

"I am not correcting you, My Precious One. I am helping you to see things from My perspective so you don't come unraveled when painful things must happen. Just pray that THEY will get the message as to why things are going south. Pray that they will turn around and repent, realizing they are in the hands of a just and mighty God, full of mercy, but needing them to live by My rules not what the world calls right.

"Clare, I need someone to stand up for what is right and moral or how will they ever learn. You have done well to explain consequences. Now step back and watch what I do with the situation. Allow characters to come to maturity and motives to be exposed. Allow them to grow up. Be the loving mother and allow them to work through their passions and life decisions with your prayers behind them. Always being loving, cordial, understanding, supportive but moral and standing for what is right in My eyes. That is the very best witness you can give.

"My people, ignoring the sin your children choose to get involved in is not the right way. Compromising your morals and faith is no way to lead them. Be strong in your love for Me and fearless in laying forth the truth, WITHOUT condemnation, which will only drive them further into their own will. Some people think that if they lead a more worldly life in order to satisfy their children, eventually they will come around.

"No, that is not the right way. Lead a life full of devotion and boundaries, allow them to mock you if need be, but live your life without compromise and with full conviction. Then when it is time to make a decision or time for them to stand before Me, you will not be guilty of working against Me by being the liberal parent. Better to lose their respect than to lose their souls. In the end, there will be no excuse, because you lived My life before them.

"On the other hand, when you compromised you sent a double message and that allows them to tag onto the compromise and justify what they are doing. Do you see, dear ones? Never compromise to keep or gain your children's affection. Always do the right thing and they will remember that at critical moments, when they must make a choice.

"I am with you with your children. Love them no matter what, but do not soft pedal the truth."

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