Falling Deeper In Love With God

Falling Deeper In Love With God

Well, dear Heartdwellers. Jesus has just opened a new door to deeper intimacy with Him, and approaching a Divine Union of our souls with His. May we all avail ourselves of this extraordinary grace.

To fill you in a little, for the last day or so I've felt weepy and insecure. I wasn't sure if it was a spiritual attack, or what it was. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. But when I heard Julie True's song 'Child of God,' I became deeply troubled that I had lost His presence.

And you know, once you feel that way... Losing God and losing His presence is everything. Just everything. So, I was not a happy camper. And the day was dawning and things were in front of me to do. I didn't really know how to press in to Him in that moment.

But, when I went on the Internet to do something, a rhema came up: The Church at Ephesus. It's one of the letters in Revelation, the second chapter, that talks about the things the different churches are lacking.

To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:

These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds, your labor and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate those who are evil, and you have tested and exposed as liars those who falsely claim to be apostles.

Interestingly, yes. We just went through that.

Without growing weary, you have persevered and endured many things for my name, But this I have against you: You have abandoned your first Love.

And I can't tell you my reaction to that - it's the worst possible thing He could have said to me. It really, really pricked my heart deeply.

Therefore, keep in mind how far you have fallen! Repent and perform the deeds you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. Revelation 2

So, getting that as a rhema sent me into, I guess you could say...panic? A spiritual panic, for sure. At that point, I told everyone, 'I'm going into prayer.' and wouldn't be out for a long time. I closed the door and nestled in my little prayer altar and began seeking the Lord with all my heart. And He was faithful to give me this message.

So, at that time, when I began to seek Him I said, 'Lord, I don't understand...why am I so weepy? I know You are here with me, You've not abandoned me, and I want to be thankful, but I just want to cry. Please speak to me.'

Jesus began, "Clare, there is never a moment I am away from your side. You are the one who drifts from Me, not I from you. There is too much busy work in your home. You need to run it like a cloister or you will never go where I want to take you. Less involvement with the world, My Precious. Less and less and less."

By the way, for those of you who are not familiar with cloistered nuns and how they operate, they get a good 8 hours of prayer a day. Their day is broken up with prayer. It begins with prayer, it's broken up with prayer and studying the Scriptures and then more prayer. And nobody's allowed, nobody from the world is allowed in the cloister, at all. They're kept on the outside - and this is to protect the sisters on the inside, so they can be totally devoted to the Lord. So, that's what He's meaning when He said, "You have to start running your home like a cloister." And I totally agree with that. I totally agree with that.

Then I replied to Him, 'You know how I feel about Julie True's song...Child of God. I felt like I was a stranger to You, and I felt fleeting pains of jealousy - that she was so close to You and I'm so far away. And of course, the liars jumped right on it, and said, "Your voice will never sound that good...let alone your relationship with God."'

However, when that happens I immediately rebuke a spirit of Jealousy and Lying and tell the Lord I don't want it, and it goes away. The Lord said He would provoke the Jewish people to jealousy by our devotion to Him. So, it's not beyond the realm of possibility that the Lord really allowed this to happen, to wake me up a bit.

So, I told Him I felt like I'd lost my connection with Him, and felt like a stranger to Him.

He answered me, "I know and it's ridiculous. She has put her time in to get closer to Me and that's what is bothering you more than her voice. You knew that, didn't you?"

Yes. Lord, I did. I sensed I was missing something that I once had, that was much deeper than what I have now.

"Well, My love, you know I am no discriminator of persons. I have a great depth for each one of My Brides, but most never even approach it, let alone rest in it. You have been there many, many times - but your involvement with the house is distracting you."

'Enough already!' I said

Jesus replied, "That's exactly My sentiment. Enough is enough.. and at this point it's way too much. You will find great joy in My arms, Clare. Alone with Me is all you'll ever need. How surprised I am that you do not avail yourself of that every moment of the day. If you would begin to practice that, seeing yourself held securely in My arms, you will see a change in your attitude from moment to moment. And you will go deeper with Me, much deeper.

"You will find more time to savor My presence and in that be transformed, going deeper into My love and heavenly provision for your spirit. The secret is to BREAK-AWAY. Most, including yourself, look forward to our times together as a sort of dessert after the main course of your duties everyday. May I say, you have it backwards? Your time with Me is the main course and the duties are on the periphery.

"This is the only way you will attain to that depth you are hungering for, My Love. Break away, break away...Continually throughout the day. Come to rest in My arms even when things are getting more and more hectic."

But Lord, how do I do that? When things get like that I begin to stress and push it to get it done and out of the way?

"That's what I am addressing right now." Jesus replied. "I am the main meal. Those other things are simply appetizers, unappetizing as they are to you. They are like the condiments on the table. But in My arms is where you will find your life and nourishment. Lose your life in the world to find Mine in Heaven. Forsake your interest in your plants. That's one reason why I asked you to leave off with them; you don't realize how much you are attached to them. I'm trying to break that attachment."

Well, I recognize what He's saying here. First thing in the morning, I tend to get pulled into my plants before my eyes are even open. They are like children to me. And I can't tell you how many times I've had to break curses over them, because the enemy is always trying to hurt us through the things we love.

But, I'll talk to them and say, 'Oh, you're looking sad and wilted, you need more water? Oh, those ugly brown tips, here let me trim them for you.'

Jesus continued, "The world and its activities are never-ending, Clare. That's what you don't realize; they are forever pulling you off course. Practice ignoring them. Seriously. You have a volunteer who waters for you. Bless your plants, and then put them out of your mind. I have much better things for you to use your time for. If you find you cannot ignore them, give them away. They are used to tempt you."

I'll ignore them, Lord.

"Case in point....you see how attached you are?"

Lord, I often think I would be happier in a much simpler environment.

And I really have sought Him about this, guys. You know, a trailer has only got about, I don't know how many - just a few square feet of room to walk around in. And floors to get dirty and where things are. I've thought about it so many times!

But He answered me, "Practice simplicity in this environment, that's the challenge. Oh, My Beloved, I ache for you as you ache for Me. There is not a moment of the day that I don't long to see one sweet glance of your eyes."

Really, Lord?

"Really and truly. My heart soars when you look at Me with such longing. I hate to see confusion and stress tearing you away from Me. And this is the case with all of you, My Brides. How I long to see your searching eyes as they come in contact with Me, as you are looking for My presence."

I want to mention here, for those of you who do not easily see the Lord. Envision Him as He was the last time you saw Him, or envision Him in your favorite image of Jesus - in a favorite place. Beside a stream or on a park bench - whatever. Allow Him to come into that space in your heart and mind and meet you there. It begins with envisioning Him. And from there He makes it a real event.

He continues, "This is the beauty of the eternal relationship we have. It exists outside the boundaries of space and time. It truly is eternal. Though your days are filled with time-consuming work, your relationship with Me is not subject to these same laws. This is why you can find Me at any moment by your side, drinking in the vision of the longing expression in your eyes and on your heart and mind.

"And My response is ever the same, 'So...what's keeping you from Me in this moment? Is it that important?'

"Today you got to the point where nothing was as important as seeking and finding Me. And I was there for you."

I answered Him, 'Yes, I certainly did. When I got the Church at Ephesus, "Return to your first love." That cut me so deeply I told everyone, 'I'm going into prayer, and I'm not going to come out any time soon.' And I came out a couple of hours later when everyone was gone.

Jesus continued, "I sent that Rhema to you because I missed you, Clare. I knew how you would take it. I knew you would immediately repent and seek My face. And you did not disappoint Me. I did not mean the harsh threat for you, dearest - I just wanted to call your attention to the fact that you were lapsing into more and more involvement with the world. Again. And we both know what that eventually leads to... Yes, the panther comes forth from its lair.

"So, here we are now, together. And My Heart rejoices in your longing for Me and oh, how I wish to satisfy that! But as long as we dwell on the Earth together, there will be barriers to that. Although as you long ever more for Me, I will not disappoint you. There will be special graces that seem as though you are no longer on this Earth, because of your preoccupation with Me.

"Yes, My delightful Brides, become so entwined and wrapped up in Me that you forget what you're doing, what you came into a room for, what you were going to do next. Yes! Yes! I want to be your one and only distraction. You know what it feels like to fall in love and long for your Beloved. This is indeed how I long for you. But so few long for Me with that same intensity.

"Long for Me. Be distracted by Me. Be pulled away by Me - become forgetful of all around you by Me. This is the kind of love I ache to have from My Brides. As the saying goes, 'Be so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good.'

"Yes, yes, I know... Your jobs, your duties - yes they must be done. But remember back to a time when you had first fallen in love; your very first love. All you could do was long for that hour to come where the two of you would be together. This is the kind of love I long for from you.

"Oh, how beautiful the soul is that has casts aside the world to have this with Me. How perfectly their longing shall be rewarded, for there is not enough Heaven on Earth to give to such a one as this.

"Pray for this grace, My Blessed ones, pray much for this grace. And practice searching Me out with your spiritual eyes. Every moment of the day. And when our hearts touch, do your best to go away into a place of quietness and prayer, where we can dwell together and you can be regenerated. And I can be consoled by your love."

And I just wanted to share this with you. Right after I got this message, I went to lay down for a nap, because I was going to get up and record. And I was getting a little droopy. And when I did, my husband was there. He was laying down, and the cats were there... I just laid down on the bed, on top of the covers and just tucked in for a few moments. I opened my eyes, my spiritual eyes to try and see the Lord - and He was RIGHT nose to nose with me! RIGHT nose to nose.

And He said, "Surprise! Surprise!"

And that was so sweet. I really felt His presence. Nose to nose, heart to heart, mind to mind. And in that place, I fell asleep for 20 minutes. Very peacefully.

And often, He does that with me, before I go to bed at night. Before I go to sleep at night. Ezekiel will tell me that he sees the Lord and I doing something like playing flutes, or riding horses or doing something. And he'll tell me that as a little starter, so I'll be dwelling with the Lord when I actually fall asleep, in those places.

It's really not hard, guys. It really is not hard. We can all visualize things. Some not so pleasant, and some very pleasant. God gave us this gift so that we could visualize Him - and He could walk into our world and make the vision come true.

So, don't disappoint Him. Seek His gaze. And when you find it, rest in it. Allow Him to make it come alive to you. He will do this.

May the Lord bless you with His perfect Grace. May your attention be constantly distracted upon Him. May your gaze meet with His gaze in perfect love and purity. Amen.

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