stuck in the quicksand...

how crazy i am haha
top five worst case scenarios on repeat in my brain
natural assumption is rejection
been rejected so many X i've lost count
i'm simply just too amazing haha
i can hold a conversation
i care about things/people/society
i can admit when/where i've been wrong/bad
always trying to be a better person
many don't give two fucks bout being a piece a shit
zero self-improvement whatsoever
intimidated by how cool i am or...dead
abandonment issues going haywire
gonna abandon their living body
taken away by govt/aliens
very real possibilities here, guys
dumb that i still do this to myself
oh yeah, of course you were
no point in having secrets
way crazier when in denial about it
annoying when people invalidate this shit
some of us are a bit heavier
not a bad person or as weak as i wanna think