This Side of The Story

Thoughts????

My girlfriend has a net worth of around $20 million and, well, let’s just say I don’t. Luckily for me, she truly loves me, and we hope to get married someday. Although we would have a prenup, she has concerns that I will limit our lifestyle in the future.

She makes about $350,000 a year — not including six-figure bonuses. I make $225,000 a year with bonuses and overtime. I have around $1 million in net worth including cash, retirement savings and home equity. Aside from separate mortgages, neither of us have any other real debts.
We both have teenage children. I am still trying to save for my two girls’ future college expenses, and her son’s education will be paid by a family trust. Also, her son is accustomed to finer things, while I often buy used stuff for my kids and make them do chores to earn their small allowance.

We are both 50 years old and would like to retire by 60, if possible. Of course, she could easily retire now, but she actually enjoys her work. On the other hand, my job is stressful and exhausting, but I’m able to save about 20% of my gross each year.

‘While it’s obvious I’m the one with limited means, the norm is for me to pick up the tab on dates and weekend getaways.’

Unfortunately, without a willingness to compromise on her part, an unexpected windfall for me or some other unexpected change, I’m not sure how to navigate the situation. We are very transparent about our finances and, while it’s obvious I’m the one with limited means, the norm is for me to pick up the tab on dates and weekend getaways.
She wants a fancy wedding, and also thinks I should pay half as a symbol of my love and commitment to her. Between that, an expensive ring and the honeymoon, I will easily deplete my cash reserves if I say yes.

Finally, she says that she’s worked hard and saved all of her life and is no longer willing to sacrifice financially. That said, we always end our discussions with a reassuring statement that it’s not a deal breaker, and that we are both committed to figuring it out.

I’m a bit old-fashioned and love the chivalrous position of picking up the tab, but shouldn’t she just plan to cover the big-ticket items like a plush wedding and honeymoon, extravagant retirement expenses and other posh desires? Or is our relationship just doomed?

The One Million-Dollar Man

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