Wounding Waters, Part 5: Fear of the Future

Wounding Waters, Part 5: Fear of the FutureShow more

November 12, 2013

Well, I didn't expect this. I've been waiting on the Lord to disclose to me what it is exactly He wanted me to share with you and how to share it, which Scriptures and so on and He gave me a really good kick start one morning. I woke up to an electrical doorknob notice that says my electricity is going to be turned off in three days. We'd been waiting for a check that's normally on time; a donation and it was four days late. Well, I started to freak and He wanted me to share that with you because He wants you to understand how weak I am and in His own words if he can make me strong in His word, He can do it for anyone. That's for sure.

So, I got hit really hard. My knees got weak -- blood sugar went down, I thought, "Give me the chocolate" and normal life stopped until the check came in. And after I'd reasoned through it... after a while and looked at the Lord's track record, I saw how foolish I was being. But you know, at the time these things happen, you don't always see that; you have to look at that in hindsight after you've gotten over the shock quality of whatever it is your dealing with.

Going on with this. Really guys, I'm just really weak and a coward at heart. That's the bottom line and my oldest daughter once said to me, she said, "Mom, you are so strong" and I told her in no uncertain terms, "Honey, I am not strong but the God who lives in me is strong and He's the One who keeps me on my feet."

Well, when we started out on this journey of a teaching ministry that the Lord has called me to, He cleared up some doubts that I had. I had some pretty serious doubts. I told Him, "Lord, I am not a good choice" and His reply to that was - I'll read it to you, "On the contrary, you're just perfect for the job. If I can have the victory in your life, I can have it in anyone's and that's your mandate. Be honest, be transparent, so even the weakest person can relate to you."

So, are you weak? Well, guess what, I'm weaker and if I can stand, I'm sure you can stand too. Now, let me share with you how the Lord has led me. I have to laugh because I really wasn't expecting this and it hit me like a bomb, right? And, I decided - and well - first thing, I really needed to go to the Lord and we needed to straighten some things out. The Lord called my husband into a prayer vigil for me. Well, as in all these things I have to put things in perspective. And when he goes into a prayer vigil for me it really helps. He is my entire - he's the power and the covering that keeps this going. So, the Lord called my husband into a prayer vigil and I knew immediately He was preparing me for this teaching on fear.

So I said to Him, "Lord, I don't feel like I have any business teaching on this topic. Look at me; my knees are week, my blood sugar is crashing and I'm not any example at all to be teaching this."

And He didn't hesitate for one moment. He said, "Didn't I tell you this teaching was for you also?"

Uhm... "Yes."

And He said, "Do you know how many times a day fear interrupts us?" Meaning the Lord and I in our communication -- our ability to communicate together. "You are bound by fears; fear of displeasure, fear of dying, fear of disease, fear of losing your husband or your children, fear of me, even as kindly as I am gentle with you, you're still afraid. Fear of uselessness, fear of failure. Don't you see how controlled you are by fear? And this is universal to man." Well, that kind of opened my eyes when He said that and understood right away that He just wants me to be honest with you and share with you how I manage to get through these things.

We live in Taos, New Mexico and I have to say, it's spiritually a very dark, dark place and there's a lot of new age movement in this town. It's tremendous actually, with the Taos Indian Pueblo and other things. And, it's a dark place and it's not easy to survive here. There has to be spiritual warfare on a constant basis.

"Lord, I didn't want to hear this. I thought I was beyond those fears. Now I see, that was pride and ignorance on my part."

And He answered, "No, it's precisely because you do struggle that I'm bringing you into confrontation with your fears. And do you know, everyone, and I do mean everyone, has fear. Yes, even that teacher that you like so well who - lady teacher - who is strong as a truck driver. She has fear too. She's got her buttons just like you do."

And I said, "But she's such a good teacher."

"Well, everybody has a button, there's a button somewhere."

So I said, "Oh Lord, pass the ice cream."

He said, "I'm with you, I will hold your hand, but for now you need to be in touch with fear so you can minister peace to others."

"Peace? I don't understand it. How and I supposed to minister peace when I'm fear struck like this? My belly is weak, my throat is dry, my heart is limp. Oh, please pass the ice cream."

And he said - He laughed and he said, "No, pass the Grace."

"Okay."

"You have so many examples of My faithfulness in your life but there's still persists this nagging feeling of vulnerability and that you're going to be undone."

And He went on, "Even now, as we speak, you are still in the grips of it. It hits you like a blast of hot air."

I thought, what does He mean by that? And then I thought, 'you know, I woke up feeling like a lily that was going to bloom and now I feel totally wilted.'

And so He said, "You need to master this, Clare. If you don't, you are vulnerable to being manipulated."

And that's the bottom line. We want to stay on course with the Lord. We don't want to go to the left or to the right and Satan so often uses fear tactics to cause us to either derail or go just a degree off. When we go a degree off on a long journey, we are way off by the time we get to our destination. So I said, "Lord, how do I master this?"

"You apply the Word," He said. "It's a poultice containing medicinal ingredients."

I don't know if you're aware of that word 'poultice' but back in the old days - still even now - people who work with herbs, they make a muslin sack with different herbs in it and apply it to a sprain or a break or something like that and it helps to ease the pain.

So, He said, "You apply the Word. It's a poultice containing many medicinal ingredients. The Word. The Word. The Word."

Okay, well, I thought I was applying the Word but obviously not soon enough or not well enough and this is a life-long challenge for us. I confess, I struggle with fear a lot. I feel like a dartboard that the enemy throws a dart at and it sticks. I have to work it out using God's Word as the forceps and my history with Him as the clamp because I can look back on our history and that holds me in place. I can hold that wound open while I use His Word to pull out that dart.

So, it makes total sense to me that this would be the final teaching after intimacy - on fear. Because without intimacy with the Lord, you're really, really susceptible to fear. So, when we don't meet fear head on, it can become an underlying, motivating force that colors all of our actions and our relationships and we don't even know sometimes how that's happening. We just respond a certain way because there's a memory back in there that causes fear and it hasn't been confronted. It hasn't been dealt with and it becomes a button, really.

So, we end up doing things automatically with not understanding, why did I do that? Why did I say that? Why did I react that way? And this is something that's basically universal to all men and women. So, fear of being ridiculed is a common one. Fear of loss and sickness. Fear of rejection and failure. Fear of helplessness. Fear of poverty. All of these are huge things that really impact people's lives.

For example, let's say you feel very strongly called. Or let's say I feel - because I'm going to give you an example from my own life - very strongly called to serve the Lord. I really feel there's a calling on my life and there's a lot of agreement in that area from peers and people around me. And so, I think to myself, 'okay, I'm called by the Lord. I'm going to finish college. I'm going to get my car and house paid off and then I'm going to look for ministry opportunities.' Now mind you, that's the world's prudence talking. Where the Lord may want you to get on the next plane to Africa to work under missionaries who are well established and to learn from them. That's more of His logic. I'm not saying that He's always impulsive like that but there's a great deal of prudence that comes from the world and colors our responses to the Lord and to His call. And let me share one - the world's priorities often have nothing in common with God and His priorities.

Now, when Peter left his nets to follow the Lord, he left a lucrative business. He had assets, he had a family, he had children, he had worked at this for many, many years. Decades. And all of a sudden he sees and hears the Lord and he drops everything and he follows the Lord. Nothing prudent about that.

Nor was Elisha prudent when he followed Elijah. He took a yoke of oxen, slaughtered them, boiled their flesh in the equipment - using the oxen's equipment and gave it to the people to eat. Then he arose and followed Elijah and became his servant. 1 Kings 19

In my own life, when we were a family of five, my father-in-law bought us a brand new Ford station wagon. We were thrilled. My husband was going to school and he bought us this beautiful station wagon. He probably got tired of hearing the calls that the car had broken down again, but whatever. He bought us a station wagon. I'd never had a new car in my life so I was thrilled to have this car and to have that security for my family. Well, at the same time the Lord began tapping on my shoulder, tapping on my husband's shoulder and calling us to the mission field. And that was through YWAM that he was calling us to go to Holland and there was a deadline for it and we tried to raise the $5,000.00 that it would take to get us to Holland and to pay for our courses and what have you. And the only way that we could have done it was to sell the car. We could have gotten $5,000.00 for the car easily. But we thought about it, we prayed about it and we decided to be prudent; not to destroy family relations by selling this car and taking off to Europe on a Christian missionary trip. And his parents were not Christian so that didn't make it any easier. We were dealing with a couple really nice masons here and he was very good to us, he was very kind but he would not understand our motives and they'd be looked down upon. So we decided to do the prudent thing for the family. Well, prudent we were alright.

I had a dream not long after that. And in this dream I was on a ship somewhere and on this ship I was called to the lower deck by the captain. So I came down the stairs to see the captain; he was standing behind a table, he looked up at me, blue eyes, blond hair, very handsome, very sparkling presence and he said, "The Lord called but you missed Him. He'll call again." And then the dream ended and I woke up and immediately. I knew that was the Holy Spirit talking to me. That was the Holy Spirit in my dream and he was telling me that I had missed the Lord by making this choice for security and money and family rather than choosing for the Lord. This has been a life-long struggle with me. I'm going to share with you how I finally overcame a major part of it in a little while. But this has been a serious setback and drawback for me, having this affection for the world and this need for security.

You know, it seems like there's no end to the fears that the father of lies can conjure up against us. And in my previous video, I have to say, if you don't think there are things that cause a fear response in you, it might be a good idea, as I did in my previous video, to stop this video and take a few moments and think about it. Think about things that can cause you to go off the deep end with fear. You don't have anything to lose by doing that and everything to gain because knowing yourself is what allows you to put the devils to flight. We're our own worst enemies. That's the sad truth.

Okay now, getting back to the Lord's remedy for fear. The Word. I have to say that I don't believe the Word will do you a great deal of good if you don't know the Lord. People who don't have a relationship with the Lord - the Word to an unbeliever is just empty, religious jargon or history, kind of obscure history of the Jewish nation. But the Word to a believer is a vital, living force that transforms and translates us from darkness into light on a daily basis. It's so powerful.

So, I want to take a moment here and if you don't have that relationship with Jesus, it is so easy to get. There's nothing simpler than the intention of your heart and a few simple words. "Lord, I give you my heart and my life. I want to know you. Come into my heart. Lead me and teach me. Amen." That's an invitation He simply cannot resist and your life will change overnight from maybe dull, boring and confused and dark to brilliant light. Full of wonder. Full of challenges that you never thought you'd be able to overcome in your life. Beautiful things ahead for you when you give your life to the Lord. So, I just wanted to take a moment to share that because without understanding your relationship with Him; the words of the Scripture meant nothing to me before I was converted. I'd fall asleep looking at them and I thought what so people get out of this, I don't get it. But then when the Holy Spirit came and transformed my life then I understood and I knew and it was like opening a book where 3-D pictures and history were going on right in front of me. And all of a sudden my understanding was expanded.

So, the Lord has done so many miracles in my life that there is no excuse for me having any kind of fear and if you feel that way too, don't feel bad because there is an explanation for that. I used to look down at the Israelites who contended and complained with God about being in the desert. They were full of discontent and ungratefulness and I thought, 'how can they be like that after all the things the Lord has done for them?' So I had my own, you know, my own take on the Israelites but now I recognize, I am not one whip better than they were. I'm just like them.

In hindsight it seems incredulous to me that after crossing the Red Sea, they could doubt that Moses would return from Mount Sinai. I can't understand that. How could they think that after the miracles that took place delivering them from Egypt? So, they doubted and they gave all their jewelry, their heirlooms, everything they collected from the Egyptians to Aaron to make a golden calf so they would have a god to worship. Oh my gosh, that's just amazing, just amazing. And this is in Exodus 4 we're beginning with.

So, and the Lord had given Moses three supernatural signs plus the name of God to convince the people of his mission. He had a staff that would turn into a snake and then come back into a staff. He had leprosy in his hand when he tucked it into his shirt and pulled it out, put it in again and leprosy left. And when he poured water out on the ground it turned to blood so he had these signs and wonders even before he was delivered from Egypt.

And now, the Israelites witnessed a lot of plagues and firsthand and they saw where the Egyptians would suffer loss but they were protected so they had that in addition to it all. The devastation of the flies, the livestock dying, the destructive hail, the darkness for three days and the death of the firstborn. They had seen all of this and walked away from it unscathed with people handing them gold and ornaments and silver just to get them out of their lives so they wouldn't have to deal with them anymore.

So even after of all this and the Red Sea opening and going across on dry land and the Lord glancing back at the Egyptian army chasing them and throwing them into total confusion and then the sea closing over them. They had all of these beautiful signs from God of His miraculous provision. So, even after that they still complained and doubted. "You brought us here to starve us to death. Moses is dead, let's make a calf. The waters are poison, we'll die of thirst. At least in Egypt we had meat and bread. The land is full of giants, we haven't got a chance against them." So those were some of the things that they objected to.

And I think that if we take a moment right now and we think of all the wonderful things that the Lord has done for us in our lives, we'll be able to spot some real miracles of things that He's done for us and looking back on those miracles, I think we can come away a little bit shame-faced and say there's no reason for me to doubt the Lord's provision. He's done this for so long for me, He's not going to stop now.

So, what do we do when we're threatened? Well, we do apply the Scriptures. Obviously though, it wasn't effective enough or persistent enough to please the Lord because He brought that up again. He said, "The Word. You use the Word." And he was chiding me because He knows I use the Word.

We have a book called The Bible Promise Book and it's short, sweet and to the point. It's organized by different categories such as: Fear, Laziness, Holy Spirit, Lust, Money, Jealousy, Lying, Enemies and so on. And it's a very handy tool when something hits you that you need to apply a Word to. We really enjoy using it. We also use the Psalms a great deal. Well, sometimes the Holy Spirit opens this book for us when we pray and gives us a Scripture that we needed to hear and maybe wouldn't have found if we went looking for it ourselves. We do trust Him with that.

So, recently a woman died from the hanta virus here in New Mexico; Taos, New Mexico where we live. Now mind you the hanta virus in the Four Corners area -- Arizona and New Mexico, Utah - well, the Four Corners area, that has happened before and we are aware of that but right here in Taos, New Mexico, that was a little bit threatening to me. So, I went to the Lord and went to the Scriptures, The Bible Promise Book and the Psalm that he gave me from the Scriptures was Psalm 91:3 Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your right side and ten thousand at your right hand but it will not come near you. Beautiful.

Now, sometimes we'll abbreviate that and we'll take it and put it on index cards and keep those index cards on the refrigerator or where we do the dishes or in the bathroom and we'll - anytime we're struck with any kind of fear, we will repeat that Psalm. And I abbreviate it. It might read something like, Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the plague that destroys at midday. So, I may shorten it just to make it a little easier to remember but keep the basic feeling and promise there.

Now, there are times when an undefined, menacing feeling seems to be in the air and we don't quite understand what it is but it's something that is ruffling our peace. It could be a thought or a suggestion or something that we are aware of peripherally but not really understanding what it is. It could be a projection from a demon that we're not sure the content of it or what - you know - we're not able to quite recognize what it is and for those times I use my personal word of life box.

I'm sure you've seen the daily bread - the little daily bread things that people put on their table and they're little strips - you can pull them out randomly and they have Scriptures on them. And many times that really ministers to people; I know they've ministered to me. Well, what we do is a little bit different. We take all the encouraging words, the ones that are very important to us, and we write them down on an index card. So we have this little box and we write them down on an index card and we'll go to them from time to time just for some kind of a word of encouragement and we'll pull one up. This will be something that we've dealt with before and the Lord has given us a word of encouragement and when we pull it up, it reminds us of His faithfulness. So we have that little tool that we use also. I highly encourage you to begin one of these, you'll be amazed at the results. They're personalized so it's like tucking the Word away in your heart and saving it and the Holy Spirit will bring it to remembrance when you pray and ask for an encouragement and go to that little box and pull a card out. You'll be totally amazed how much He is on the same page with you.

Now, in my last teaching I talked about lying spirits and how they slander the Lord's character. Well, the same applies here. When they try to inspire fear in us, they use lies that denigrate His faithful character. The Lord is faithful and what the enemy would like you to believe is that He's not faithful, so he lies to you. So, I do rebuke lying spirits - rebuke and bind lying spirits as well as applying the Word. That's another tool that the Lord has given us and we need to use it, it's important.

Another very powerful medicine against fear is singing praises to the Lord. That accomplishes two things. It helps us to worship the Lord and to be in His presence. It also helps us to recall His faithfulness and it infuriates the demons and I love to infuriate them. I think they deserve to be infuriated as much as we can do it and just by singing praises to the Lord and thanksgiving. That just infuriates them and a lot of times that will break it. It will send them - they can't stand to be around that so they'll leave and whatever you're battling against, it will just vaporize.

Now, when my husband was in the hospital and he was suffering from a failed attempt in a procedure that was very uncomfortable, very painful and I went off to a quiet space because I was really worried about him and I began to sing the Lord's praises. When I came back, the doctor had finished the procedure and it had gone so well, he hadn't experienced any pain. That was a beautiful thing. It was the Lord's faithfulness and mercy. In that situation, not only was I calmed by the singing but the demons projecting the fear ran because they couldn't stand to hear it.

You know, the Word of God is a blazing sword of lightning that cauterizes the wounds of lying darts that try to provoke us. It's very powerful - very powerful. We cannot see in the spirit what goes on but it's tremendously powerful.

Now, during most trials the idea of praise does not appeal to me at all and maybe you're different but I have a hard time praising in difficult situations. But, I know it's the right thing to do and I ask for the Lord's help and I enter into praise and that always changes the situation or the environment around. It's difficult to pull away and praise sometimes when you're in a difficult situation where there are other people involved but you can go to the Scriptures and affirm over and over again God's faithfulness until peace is restored. I've seen that happen so many times. When my daughter-in-law was in labor and it was a very dangerous situation. She had to be airlifted and I went with her in the plane and I got deathly sick but I kept praying and singing the Lord's praises and she finally delivered the baby safely. But, I've seen this happen so many times. You can count on this, you can truly count on it.

Now, the more we invest in seeking God and getting to know the Lord, the more convinced we become of His absolute dependable providential nature. The more we realize how faithful He is and how intimately involved He is with every aspect of our life from the littlest things, from the very littlest things.

Now, in Matthew 10:29-31 the Lord said, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Beautiful Scripture to recall in times when you're being hit by fear. Like the little sparrows, it's comforting to visualize ourselves in the very palm of the hand of the All Mighty. To just visualize the Father holding us in the palm of His hand and protecting us.

Now, I want to share a little situation or a little incident that happened in my life. I was at Wendy's sitting in the parking lot eating a hamburger, right, and I saw this little sparrow on the ground looking for something to eat and I thought, there aren't any crumbs out there. Well, I was going to pick off some parts of my burger and throw them out the window and when I looked back that little sparrow was on the bumper of a car picking off butterflies, moths, all kinds of insects and that little bird was having a feast. The Lord brought that car all the way from Texas to Taos with a grill filled with choice morsels for that little bird. How beautiful His providence is. How very beautiful that is.

For 30 years we've lived almost exclusively on the supernatural providence of the Lord. He gave me a lesson, too, to share with you two days ago and then today He pulls back another layer of fears that I have yet to conquer. That's so much like Him. He protects us when we're taking little steps and He encourages us because He knows that bigger challenges are going to come and we will be challenged by those things and rather than make us feel badly by saying, "Okay well, you passed this little test but there's a big one coming," He cheers us on even as we cheer our children on as they take their first steps. We know that someday they'll have to walk two miles to school in the wintertime and cross that slippery parking lot to get to class but we understand that by then they'll have the skills necessary to make that trip and the Lord is the same way.

So, we'll never arrive at complete security. There's always going to be some situation that we're not quite up to and actually that's a good thing because then we don't become self-confident and presume and arrogant. It keeps us humble for sure. Here's my little shut-off notice (Clare holds up a notice card). When these things rage, I recall the Lord's faithfulness and how many times we've had those shut-off notices and how many times He's come through.

As I watch our woodpile dwindle right now - November, it's November and we're at 8,000 feet in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains - and I know somehow He'll bring a donation of wood to our door. Every year somehow He sees to it that we have wood. Now, I could stop what I'm doing or my husband could stop what he's doing, although he has some health issues, and we could go out and collect our own wood. We have a chain saw - just go out and cut wood. We could do it. But then we wouldn't be obeying the Lord because this is our portion. This is what He's asked us to do, what we're doing now and we can't do both things. We don't have the strength and the energy for both and He doesn't want us to. That would be disobedient of us to do that so we wait on God's providence.

Now, of course we've gotten criticized for depending on the Lord and not working a secular job of some kind but the Lord over and over again has reassured us that He did not want us in the marketplace or in the world. He wanted us in prayer, in worship, studying the Scriptures, serving the poor. It was not His plan for us to get a job and we've been weak at times and my husband's gone out and looked for jobs and we both come from a fairly healthy career motivation before we were converted and he never gets a job. It's just not God's will so He blocks it and instead the Lord brings us what we need. And one day He said to my husband, "Well, you have a choice here. You can go out and make your own living or you can continue to do what I've asked you to do and I will cover your expenses. Which do you choose?" Well that's no contest. None. Unless you're afraid of what people think. Oh, they'll think that we're lazy, they'll think that we're not working, they'll think - whatever they think. There's that fear again and so if we were to bow to that fear and run out and get jobs. That would not be the Lord's will.

So, this is how important fear can be, guys. It's so important it can change the whole course of your life and if you're dedicated to serving the Lord, the last thing in the world that the enemy wants you to do is to continue to serve the Lord. He wants to pull you out of that and put you back in the secular world and make you too exhausted to serve the Lord. Now there are people who are called to make tents and to teach and that's up to God. That's His servant. He makes the choices with His servants - what He wants them to do.

You know, going back to what the Lord told my husband. "You can either believe me to cover your expenses or you can go out and make your own living." The Lord brought something to mind here I want to share with you. In John 6:28 Then they asked him, "What must we do to work the works God requires?" And Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent." That's work. That is really hard work because you will get tempted. You get criticized for believing and not taking action yourself and providing for yourself. You will be criticized for that. So, it's work to cleave to the Lord and cleave to His Word and not allow those things to shift you into a different direction. That is hard, hard work. It can wear you out. It's a struggle sometimes. If you feel exhausted on some days when you're facing an undetermined outcome, understand you are contending for the faith and that is work, it's mental work but it can be very exhausting.

And then also, in Luke 12:22-26, Jesus said to His disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" How beautiful. The Lord has given us a complete understanding of how he wants us to operate. He's left nothing unstated that needed to be stated so that we could take hold of the faith and contend for it, hold on to it and not be shifted by man or by the enemy or by our own flesh.

I love to make pesto for my family. Sometimes we just don't have the resources to go out and buy basil, sweet basil. So, I asked the Lord, just a couple days ago, "Could you please send some fresh sweet basil in, please?" The very next day we get this culled produce from the markets. We collect it, we distribute it to the poor and as I was going through things and taking out the fruit that was rotten, the vegetables that were rotten and sorting things out and cleaning them, there was a little bag of sweet basil on the very bottom and that night we had pesto! And it was wonderful. And He's done this for us over and over again so many times, so many times that again, there's no excuse for me fearing and falling into fear and crumbling up into an ice cream addict when things don't go right.

So, why do I get intimidated by this? (Clare holds up the disconnect notice) Why? When I look back on all the things the Lord has done. What's the deal there? Why? Well, I'm weak. I'm short-sighted. I have short-term memory loss and I'm very, very, very human and again, the Lord said, "If I can do it in your life, I can do it in the weakest person's life." And that's why I'm sharing this with you. He manages to keep us on our feet and moving in the right direction. Contending for the faith and contending for what He's given us to do and not allowing us to be thrown off.

Now, if the Lord for some reason should allow the electricity to be turned off - it's the wintertime so we'll get the food and we'll put it in an ice chest and we'll get the candles out and we'll pray, study the Scriptures and worship the Lord without electricity. Well, we've lived without electricity for five years on a mountain so we know how to do that. It's no big deal. But the point is, it's up to His discretion. If He wants us to have electricity, He's going to pay that bill. He's going to bring the finances in for the bill. If He wants us to have a period of seclusion and prayer, He may not pay that bill and we may have to make things work without it and that's okay. I mean, here we're talking about - now we're talking about personal preference and attachment. Secretly I don't believe He's going to do that because I know it's necessary for the work that He's mandating for us to do right now. But if - I've made up my mind - if he does it, there's a good reason for it. And that's one of the secrets of keeping your heart in peace is knowing that He's in control and He allows things to happen for a reason and we'll go into that a little deeper here in a moment.

Attachment and the conviction of whatever He allows is to our benefit is so, so important. Eventually we'll be able to look back on that time and see what He was doing. We may not understand it now and that's - it helps to understand but if we don't, we know by faith that it's for our good and for the good of the Kingdom.

So, there's another work here and that's abandoning the course of our own opinion and a resolution to following whatever the Lord allows. And we're far less a target for the enemy's arrows when we're that detached. It's when we're walking around with lots of opinions and expectations that we look like the broad side of a barn. You know, the enemy just, oh boy, nice target! But the less you have, the less of a target you are in that area of detachment.

I think much of my walk over thirty years has been about letting go and learning to receive the transforming wisdom of God without complaint. That has been the majority of my walk and having a grateful heart, being able to worship Him in all situations. I haven't arrived yet; I'm in transit but, He's worked with me so much. There's a huge difference now between the way I was before.

Continuing in Luke 12:27-28 Consider how the wildflowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you - oh you of little faith! Oh the Lord is so beautiful. And later on in Luke 12:29-31 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after these things and your Father knows what you need but seek His kingdom and these things will be given to you as well. Thank you Lord for the bag of sweet basil.

For thirty years we've even gone without health insurance and every time there's been a need that's been covered and there have been some pretty serious needs. It's a wonder and a marvel to me that the early Christians were so focused on the Lord that they cared little for their lives or their possessions. Those are the main buttons for fear: our lives and our possessions.

I believe that the presence of God - this is what's different - I believe the presence of God in their lives was so strong, so powerful, that those things lost their significance and they were able to sell their property and their investments and lay the proceeds at the feet of the Apostles. That's in the book of Acts 4:35. How wonderful. That's how much in love with the Lord they were and how sure of His providence for them. They had procured the Pearl of Great Price beside which the whole world has lost it's luster. The Pearl of Great Price Matthew 13:45. Our Lord Jesus.

I really didn't know how liberating it was to put myself totally at the mercy of God until my second call from the Lord. From two weeks we went from a three-story historic building in an historic district of Annapolis, with antiques and all the fineries - a beautiful, beautiful house - three different - four different kinds of wood in the kitchen, fireplace in the living room, fireplace in the kitchen, fireplaces all over the place. Beautiful, beautiful house overlooking the oldest estate in Annapolis. A gorgeous backyard, just beautiful. Just perfect. Well, and I of course had a matching wardrobe. Laura Ashley clothes, really nice clothing, you know, some of which I'd made but, we went in two weeks from that beautiful living situation to a tarpaper shack on the side of a mountain in the Poconos in a hemlock forest. Two weeks, that's all it took.

Well, let me tell you, God exploded in our life. He absolutely exploded. The time we had with our children was so blessed. Before, we'd be rushing here, rushing there, you know, doing all these things that go with this middle-class lifestyle and we have so little time left for our children. We were exhausted by the end of the day.

We had running water, when it rained. In the wintertime the well froze so we had to haul water from town. I had just given birth to my fourth child. Our life was turned upside down and everything superfluous was gone. It was just the necessities, that's all we had. Just the necessities. We didn't even have enough wood to stay warm until someone loaned us a chainsaw and my husband went out and cut wood. Wow. That was quite a change. My prayer time went from, "Hi, God, bye, God" in the morning to two and three hours of substantial worship and prayer entering into a prayer life that I'd never dreamt was possible. Oh the Lord rewarded us mightily for this change and He was part of a major factor in us doing that. Some things conspired together but He was the choice that we made and when we did it was wonderful. It was just wonderful. So, I'm not afraid of losing anything anymore. What we have, He can take it if He wants it. I'd like to hang on to my equipment and the tools that I need but if I don't need them anymore, why would I hang on to them. I mean, He's totally in charge. That's His call. He gave us beauty for ashes Isaiah 61:3. Literally, the world's ashes and the beauty of God for that.

In Philippians 4 Paul said, Not that I speak from want, for I've learned to be content in whatever circumstances I'm in. I know how to get along with humble means and I also know how to live in prosperity. And in any and every circumstance, I've learned the secret of being filled and going hungry. Having pesto; not having pesto. Having ice cream; not having ice cream. Both having abundance, he continues, having an abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens us. And there's Paul's secret. The Lord strengthens us. He gives -- you know, you give up things in your material life and simplify and that makes more room for God. It's so beautiful. The dynamic is so beautiful, you can't lose. It's so beautiful. If He asks for a sacrifice, He gives us the grace to go through that sacrifice.

Now, I've found in times of extreme trial, and you've probably experienced this too, the Lord's grace is greatly magnified. It's like an anesthetic that just spreads over your heart and mind and allows you to walk through whatever situation. And the loss of loved ones, the threat of sickness and death, they still carry a terrible sting. It's such a difficult thing to deal with. But the Lord promises in Corinthians, 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you're able. But with the temptation can provide a way of escape so that you will be able to endure it. Oh, He's so compassionate and so faithful. And in 2 Peter He says, "The Lord knows how to rescue the Godly from trials." That was Peter. But I always keep this scripture in the back of my mind and we know that all things - Romans 8:28 In all things, God works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose. We can trust that. That's His Word and that's His track record in my life and we can trust that. Romans 8:30 And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.

You know, when God entered our lives and began guiding us to the degree that we were willing to let go, it was a supernatural event. He took us in tow. He took us under His wing. He made a commitment to us. And that commitment was a process of transformation in that very moment and will continue on in our life until we are in the image of the Lord Himself. He's going to continue to transform us until we look just like Him. That's a very reassuring thought, so in anything that's going on, it's the work of God. It's all to transform us in one way or another. Maybe we don't see it at the time but later we'll be able to look back and understand what He was doing and we'll rejoice over it.

So, how can we justify fear? You know, the Lord is never lax on the job. He doesn't miss anything. If we truly get this concept into our hearts, the enemy will be frustrated in finding something to stimulate fear in us. And isn't that what we're talking about? Fear. Fear of the future. Fear of the unknown.

So, I want to share a little story with you. You may have heard it before, so just be patient if you have. A horse rancher bought a champion stud for his horses - a beautiful champion stud for his mares. And all the people in town said, "Oh, he's beautiful, that's really good!" Well, the next week the stallion ran off and all the people in town said, "Oh, that's too bad, that's not good." Well, the week following that, the stud came back with a whole herd of mares and everyone in town said, "Oh, that's great, that's good!" And then the rancher's son was riding a horse and he fell off and broke his leg and everyone said, "Oh, that's bad, that's really bad." Well, the following week, war was declared and all the men in town were drafted and so the people that were left said, "Oh, that was pretty lucky that your son broke his leg and now he's not drafted."

So, the Lord writes straight with crooked lines.

Our life is a patchwork puzzle. It's just, you know, all over the place. But, we can see what He's been doing in our lives. There's not exactly a rhyme and reason to it that most people would understand but, the outcome - the outcome is good in our lives. It's good fruit. So we never know exactly how the Lord is going to bring good on a situation but we do know one thing for sure, He's going to bring good out of it because He loves us and we're called according to His purpose.

So, when things start to go awry in our lives, I think it's time to stop and say, "Okay, Lord, what are you doing here? I want to understand." Take a step back and tuck in with Him and find out what He's doing and then cooperate with Him. Being this detached, well, it takes the power out of the demons guns because they love to jump on you with all kinds of condemnation and lies about the Lord and lies about you. But if you take a step back and say, "Okay, I'm here in this situation, it isn't going well by worldly terms but Lord, you're in charge. What are you doing? Help me to see it. Help me to receive it and help me to cooperate with it." Boy that just takes a lot of firepower away from the enemy.

So, in my very first YouTube, I did a YouTube called Overcoming Fear and one of the things I shared in that YouTube is that most of the time the enemy is not allowed to touch us but he is allowed to threaten us with a smokescreen filled with fear and fearful possibilities. He's allowed to do that. But he's not allowed to touch us. And so, people spend their entire lives being influenced by these smokescreens. He's allowed to threaten and to generate a smokescreen to cause fear, just like the movie Monsters, Inc. if you've seen that movie.

I've heard it said that demons feed on fear and fire feeds on fuel. Just like fire feeds on fuel, demons feed on fear. A lot of "F"s there. I don't claim to know the answer to that, if they do or not but I know that they certainly generate a lot of fear about things that will never happen or may happen but not in your lifetime. For instance, people spend their entire lives listening to the news, searching the net, fearfully surviving from moment to moment, preparing for the worst. Their whole lives are in tribulation and all mixed up in this fear thing going on and still the calamity that was supposed to happen has not happened yet, but all this energy and all this sickness has been generated by fear.

For years and years and I know what it feels like because I used to get on the internet and say, "Is it the end of the world yet? Is it the end of the world yet?" I did it and the Lord called me to task on it and said, "I don't want you reading that. That's fear mongering. That's just fear. You don't want to have anything to do with that. You need to keep your eyes on me because I'm faithful and you don't need to know about those things. I'll take care of you. When things go down, I'm going to be there for you and take care of you because you've been serving me, you've been faithful and you have your eyes on me." But don't' get tricked into following all these fearful stories and rumors. Wars and rumors of wars, which the Lord said that was going to happen in this time. "Don't get caught in that. Keep your eyes on me and keep your heart in peace and spread that peace." So that's what I'm trying to do here.

But, I've been guilty of it and it becomes an addiction. You know, it's like, "What's new in the news today? Okay, is Israel going to get bombed today?" You know, if we're looking for those things to culminate because we're waiting for the Lord to come back but we get a little skewed with that and we end up getting into this Ferris wheel of fear that just keeps going round and round and round and round and round and round and we end up becoming compulsively addicted to the latest news. That's why the Lord says not to interest yourself in those things. Stay away from those things. Keep your eyes on me and on my trustworthy and faithful nature. Keep your hearts in peace.

Well, the thing about fear is it knocks us off course and it steals the witness of our peace. And our peace is one of the things that is to be a witness to the world of the power of God in our lives. So, if we're running around scared and tense and "Ooh is this going to happen? We need to take care of this and we need to take care - if we run around like that, we look just like the rest of the world. That doesn't point to Jesus. That doesn't point to Him at all. That points to our flesh and to the rest of the world, what everyone else is doing. So, He wants us to be a witness to the world by not getting involved in these things. Keeping our heart and mind stead on him. And even declaring the Lord's wisdom and providence to people who are in that state of nervousness and anxiety all the time. Encouraging them, "Calm down, you love God; He loves you more. You can't provide for yourself better than He can provide for you."

So, there's also another thing that we can get into trouble with. There's no end to fear that can be generated unless you deliberately observe a no negatives rule, forbidding talking about things that threaten, destroy and discourage. Keeping those things out of our lives and refusing to engage other people with them. And you know, being a mission, we have people who come here and they're fearful about the future and I have to say, "Not today, let's not talk about that." Now, I'm not saying ignore everything. There are things that you should take care of. But, this mindless gossip and going over and over and over again about how bad the environment is; how bad financial crisis is; how bad all these things - it doesn't serve any purpose at all and it takes our hearts and minds totally away from the Lord Jesus Christ. So, that's not a good thing. And we're the temple of the Holy Spirit and He doesn't want to see it or hear it. He really doesn't. That's what He's told me. He said, "I live in your heart and I don't want to hear that and I don't want to see it. This is my temple. You need to protect it." And the Lord has told me the very same thing.

So, we work pretty hard trying to protect it. We have a track record. In the past we've been very critical and one thing I've noticed is that couples, when they get together and they talk negatively about something, they end up getting into a fight between themselves and it's almost like what you put out, you get back. And so, we're very, very, very careful in our hearts first of all not to think negatively and not to talk negatively about people. We're not perfect but we try very, very hard. And I have to say that if you have marital strife and you talk about other people with your spouse that very, very possibly could be the open door that is causing the demons to get in and cause strife in your marriage. When we closed that door, it made a huge, huge difference in the way we looked at each other and the way we spoke to each other.

So, it's really amazing. I think you probably experienced this. You'll go away for a retreat or you'll have an amazing day of prayer and your husband will come home from work and he'll be so angry and frustrated over what went on or your little one will come home and say, "Georgie pushed me off the slide" and you look at him and he's hurt and crying and you want to go throttle that kid, you know. Well, I'm working on that. I wouldn't want to throttle him but that's the first fleshly response that you have. You want to find that kid that hurt your child and make them pay, you know. That's the world; that's the flesh but also so much of the devil's character, when he sees that you're making progress with the Lord and that you've had a beautiful day and it happened to me today in prayer, the very same thing happened to me. I had an extraordinarily beautiful prayer time, I come out and there's anger going on, on the property and I had to deal with that and I got angry and I had to deal with that. And so then, after it was all said and done and we all made our apologies and got quiet and still, we took off for two hours into prayer and got our peace back. Got our peace back. Because we don't want to live our lives without that peace.

So, you probably experienced that before and be careful when you come out of prayer how a really beautiful thing going on and the enemy hates that so much that he foments trouble from every different direction to cause you to lose the graces that you got in prayer. We need to be smarter than the devils, folks. We really need to be smarter than the devils.

The Lord promises us that we are more than conquerors. More than conquerors. In Romans 8:31-32 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? And later in in verse 35, Romans 8:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or the sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Now, that's unless we consent to it. If we consent to being separated from this love, that's our choice. That's totally our choice and that's the whole motive behind fear. That's the devil's agenda. When he causes you fear of any kind, it's to separate you from God. The Scriptures say that liars separate close friends. I think that's in Proverbs. He's a liar and he will constantly try to alienate you or to separate you from God or to lie about the nature of God, as we covered before. But if we don't consent then he can't do it. You know, we have to be smarter than the devils. Jesus said, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33. That's what the Lord promises. He's given us the tools to do it but we can do it too, with His help.

I'm convinced that in our culture, which is so technologically advanced here in America, we have a very idealistic, idyllic view of what life should be like. Everything becomes convenient, available, and achievable to anyone. And so we have Hollywood pictures of happily married couples, kids with all the latest electronic gadgets, two cars, an RV, motorcycles, college funds, a picture-perfect life, right? Running smoothly and full of everything we need plus all the opportunities for advancement in the world. Frustrations yes, but you always overcome those because you have everything you need. I mean, this is so often portrayed in the movie industry.

So, we have Hollywood pictures of life to some degree. And because we've bought into this picture-perfect lifestyle with all these things, we're afraid to suffer loss or want. So you see, we're the broad-side-of-a-barn target for the enemy to stimulate us with fear because we've got so much stuff, all he's got to do is threaten this or threaten that and this fear wells up in us. Our affluent comfort zones become the norm and anything that threatens that stirs up fear.

Okay, and I have to say, I'm guilty as charged. What would I do without Cherry Garcia ice cream? Well, Smith's has a great brand so I found a way to get around that. And at half price it's just as good. Cherry Cordial. Anyway, what would I do without my ice cream? I'd probably lose weight, you know, for one.

And you look at that and you look at the different things, you know, our internet, if you watch television, our internet and our communications, our cell phones, all these things are such nice conveniences and any time they get threatened, fear, you know, comes up. Oh, we're going to lose our cell phones. Well, what if you do lose your cell phones? You'd be in communication anyway, somehow. But, we are attached to these things. They have become a part of our daily life and when we're threatened with losing those things we've become accustomed to, it can stimulate fear.

So, a man like Paul, his entire life was centered on the teachings of Jesus, was content with the most humble of surroundings because Christ was his entire possession. Nothing could dim or damage the brightness of his life because the presence of God was so powerful and strong.

So, it's really quite simple. The more we have, the more easily we can be stirred to fear, the more we're afraid to lose. The less we have, the less of a target we make for fear. You know, even with Paul looking forward to being beheaded, still, that didn't dim his view of Christ. So, if our treasure is Jesus, then death will be a blessing to us. It'll be the greatest gift anyone could give us. For those of us who have given our entire lives to Jesus and to His service, why do we worry about sickness and death? And, you know, for you to understand what I'm saying there you'd have to listen to my teaching on Why Wasn't I Healed to understand my viewpoint.

If He takes me out of public ministry, I'll be His hidden garden, praying and worshiping Him privately. If He takes the house we're living in, it's because He wants to move us on and the house is in the way. If I don't have money for ice cream, well, I just might lose weight. Look, I'm saying that for all of my sisters who are just as weak as I am. Just - we are sisters, we know about chocolate.

Anyway, I believe that you can't go wrong with less. Once Jesus makes the choice for you. The Lord revealed that to us in Florida. We had quite an experience there. One day He started dealing with me that the whole world is your mission field. And we had three children with us at the time. The whole world is your mission field. The same time He started speaking to my heart, He spoke to my husband's heart. And we laid a fleece out and we said, "Lord, if you want us to walk away from everything here" - we had an RV, we had a van, we had - it was a two story house that was furnished with simple things, you know, very simple things - "if you want us to walk away from it, we will." Well, the next day, a couple showed up at our church. They didn't have anything. She was nursing a baby. She didn't have a place to live. She didn't have clothes. She didn't have a car. She had nothing and we saw that as an answer to our fleece so we made preparations to walk away from everything, which we did. Sleeping bags and backpacks and these little hammocks that you sleep in between the trees and we just disappeared into the Everglades. Started walking.

Well, through a series of events, we finally - we met a pastor from Columbia, South American and he invited us to come and share prophetically and to share also the choices that we'd made in our lives and to share that with the Columbian people. We didn't know quite at the time that the guerillas were killing missionaries over in Columbia when we went over there. We heard about it and it was a dangerous place to be but we knew the Lord was calling us and we knew He would protect us. That was a big step in faith. That was a big step in faith.

So, we ended up in Columbia and I remember one night in particular we lived in a finca, I think that's what they call it, a little farmhouse on the outskirts of town, about two walking miles from town. It was made from cement. There were no windows - there was no glass in the windows, only a few bars. No doors. It was totally open to the air. At night we could hear the fruit bats flying in, swooping down and eating the bugs that might come after us, you know. It was pretty primitive. We did have water. We did have electricity. But it was pretty primitive. I was homeschooling at the time so that was interesting. I brought the children's books with us.

There was one particular night when we heard the guerillas coming down from the mountains. Now, when they march and they're on the move, it stirs up the dogs in the neighborhood, all the dogs. So we could hear them progressively. The dogs were getting progressively closer in their barking so we knew they were coming down to where our little finca was. Well, we just had to pray and ask the Lord to be our confidence and trust that He would save us from being attacked by these guerillas. And sure enough, they just kept on walking and went into town. They had relatives there and were visiting them. So, the Lord did protect us while we were in South America.

My children still tell me all the wonderful things they learned and how grateful they were for that trip to Columbia but it was a little scary, I have to admit. But we knew the Lord was in it. We knew it was His will. We got a chance to talk on radio. We got a chance to talk in churches and it was really a good, rich time of ministry and well, we basically encouraged the Columbian people, do not run after the American dream. Do not run after that lifestyle. Keep your simple lifestyles where your family and your faith are your absolute priorities. And they listened. They really did. In fact, I'm sure the guerillas were listening in too when we were on the radio because they knew everything about us before we got very far, I mean they had spies everywhere. So, that was, you know, that was an interesting experience for us and there was fear but the Lord did strengthen us. And you know, if I die then my work here is done. I can be with the Lord.

We have a website, http://www.heartdwellers.org and on the website is our book of experiences. The Lord has taken us to Heaven and still does, many times and we share those experiences in the book Chronicles of the Bride which is a free download on the internet if you go to Heartdwellers.org. And we have music to go with that on the music page which is also free. So, I encourage you, if you have any fear of death, if you know anyone who's dying and has a fear of death, I encourage you to look into that book. And if you write to me I'll send you a hardcopy for no charge. But, I encourage you to share the experiences in that book with anyone who's afraid of death or afraid of what comes after death because it was totally amazing what the Lord opened up to us. And what we shared in that book is only the tip of the iceberg of what has actually transpired since that time. So, maybe we'll come out with a Volume Two pretty soon.

Okay, so, getting back to fear. If He takes my husband, He has a plan. He wants more of my time and He'll be my companion the way He was before I was married. Now, mind you, I'm reasoning to myself. I'm not to the point where that is totally without fear. I haven't arrived in that place at all. Don't get that false impression. But, I'm saying I've prepared my heart and my mind to be as detached as I can in my present state from the different eventualities or possibilities that the devil might use to steal my peace.

I want to summarize at this point. When threatened with fear, make God your refuge until the storm passes. Until it passes. And, you remember the Scripture which I have here somewhere but I'm not - I want to get this in proper order so I'm not going to go looking for it. But

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