Mike Tyson vs Steven Seagal full fight scenešŸ˜„

3 years ago
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You hear the names ā€œMike Tysonā€ and ā€œSteven Seagalā€ and it is easy to envision the two squaring off in a killer fight scene. The greatest boxer of his generation versus the man who brought aikido to Hollywood? That is a classic confrontation.
Or rather it surely would have been if Tyson and Seagal had made a movie together in, say, 1991. Sadly, it is 2018. If time is an illusion, it is a brutal, unfeeling one.
TysonĀ and Seagal square off inĀ China Salesman, which was released in China last year and received a small release in the U.S. earlier this summer. I would have an easier time describing the properties of advanced nuclear physics than I would summarizing the filmā€™s plot, so briefly: It involves a corporate battle over cell phone rights in Africa. (The title character is an engineer at the center of the whole kerfuffle.) Thatā€™s about all I got, to be honest; the story is shockingly difficult to follow.

Tyson and Seagal play side characters in that struggle. In an early scene, someoneĀ servesĀ Tysonā€™s character ā€” who insists he doesnā€™t drink ā€” a glass of urine. Naturally, that leads to a brawl. At least the first part of it isnā€™t terrible, with Tyson showing off his punching power against a bunch of goons and at least one very large barrel:

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This titanic struggleĀ concludes with Tyson getting the upper hand ā€” and by titanic I mean like the boat; the whole thing ends in tragic, awful disaster, with more very obvious doubling and some very strange line readings.
Tyson screams at Seagal ā€œYou serve me pee, you die!ā€ And then, after another couple punches, ā€œMother fā€”er,Ā youĀ drink piss!ā€ If Mike TysonĀ actually tried to serveĀ Steven Seagal human urine, weā€™ll never know; the movie immediately cuts away to another spine-tingling scene of corporate intrigue. If you wish to know what happens next, you can watch the film onĀ Netflix. I wish I could say the rest of the movie was better than this, but it is not.8

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