What would you do if given a second chance

If given a chance, what would you want a second chance with?
Nothing.

I think if I could do it all again with this exact knowledge I might pay more attention to things. Dissect reasoning. Know when it's time to walk away from a useless argument.

I could appreciate less chaos. My mind is constantly racing in every situation. I'd appreciate not being as terrified.

But I wouldn't want to willingly change anything.

Don't get me wrong. I have PTSD from multiple spectrums.. so MANY awful things have happened to me in my life that I've often wondered if this is just going to be the way the rest of my life pans out.

But I'm grateful.

I know things now that I never knew back then. I frequently leave people in awe with how understanding I am of things that other people would lose their minds over.

I'm far more patient than I give myself credit for, I'm not so quick to judge someone, I hold doors for people even though I'm absolutely petrified of someone stopping to speak with me.

Because I know it all matters in ways no one understands. Because I've been there.

Live alone with my two pets. Avoid my family like the plague because they're toxic- both sides of them. Very very few friends, sometimes not even that.

But it's all intensely meaningful to me.

So nothing.

I know everyone has regrets. Maybe someone got hurt. Maybe they lost someone. Everyone wishes at some point that they wish they could have made something different about their life.

But it's all steps to growing up. Understanding that everything has consequences. It's not fun. Even harder to deal with. But it makes us the good person that other people look up to. It makes us understanding and supportive. It makes us strong.