Just Curious! Cat Sniffing on a Ceramic Jar

13. Why was the cat so small?Show more

Because it only ate condensed milk!

14. Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas?

She was a sher-paw.

15. Who was the most powerful cat in China?

Chairman Miaow.

16. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cat! Cat who?
“Cat me outside, how bout dat?!”

17. What is smarter than a talking cat?

A spelling bee!

18. What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool?

The “whisker”.

19. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?

A peeping tom.

20. Why was the cat so agitated?

He was in a bad mewd.

21. Why was the cat sitting on the computer?

To keep an eye on the mouse!

22. What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote?

Paws.

23. Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?

Because it littered.

24. Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water?

He set a new lap record.

25. What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?

Frostbite!

26. Why are cats good at video games?

Because they have nine lives!

27. Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?

The retail store!

28. Have you ever seen a catfish?

No. How do they hold the rod and reel?

29. Why do cats make terrible storytellers?

They only have one tail.

30. Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?

Just kitten!

31. A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The cat says, “A shot of whiskey.” The bartender pours the cat his drink. Slowly, the cat pushes the shot off the bar…immediately demanding, “ANOTHER!!”

32. A man walks into a bar with a cat and dog. They all sit down and the bartender says “What can I get you?” The dog looks squarely at the bartender and says I’ll take a Vodka, the guy will take a water, and the cat will take a Scotch.” The bartender, in shocks, says to the dog, “This is AMAZING! You’re a dog that can talk…” The guy looks at the bartender, and says, “Don’t be fooled, the cat is a ventriloquist.”

33. Two cats are trying to cross a river. One’s name is Onetwothree and the others’ name is Undeuxtrois. Why was Onetwothree the only one to make it across?

Because Undeuxtrois got carried away.

34. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?

Their paws.

35. What did the cat say when it got scratched?

Meowch!

36. What did the cat say after hearing a funny joke?

Lmao.

37. My cat told a joke today but I didn’t laugh.

He took it purr-sondal.

38. Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat.

Major faux paw.

39. What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed?

A Himalayan.

40. I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare…

Thanks to the cat it’s so chewed up I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.

41. I saw a neighbor talking to her cat today, it was hilarious that she thought her cat could understand her.

I went home and told my dog.

More cat articles
28 Funny Cat Puns for When You’re Feline Sad
15 Best Jobs for Cat Lovers
What the Heck Does Catnip Do to Cats?
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Zibby Wilder
Zibby Wilder is a writer specializing in food, wine, travel/tourism, personalities and histories of place. She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

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By Zibby Wilder
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