Editorial 22nd March 2021 personal missive

Editorial 22nd March
My ‘friend’ hurting me does not help me. It is demotivating. I get it they are a drunk. My mother is too. Drunks hurt people because it is easy manipulation. It lets them feel a semblance of control they have lost, surrendered to alcoholic oblivion. So, Drunks can focus their negative energies and sometimes show powerful insights.

I’m obese. A friend should let me know so I can correct it, right? So my ‘friend’ does so. At every opportunity. To help.

I don’t have many friends. Just prior to lockdown, I went to celebrate my ‘friend’ getting a new house. He badmouths me for a few hours and I leave. After lockdown, for Christmas New Year, he shows again, gets plastered and tells me again.

When he moved back to Australia some years ago, he had been a FB ‘friend’ I’d welcomed with a ‘girly squeal’ which is what I’d said I’d uttered when I was exercising. He reminds me of this, but remembers it as a ‘pig like squeal.’

At his place, after dinner with his wife and some friends, with children present, he sits on top of me, next to me, and bites my arm while watching a movie. Another time he puts his hands on my breast and cuddles me.

I can dismiss that as a dumb drunk I don’t want to have anything to do with. But, he messages me, asking me if I’m alive. And it turns out he is aware of the hurt he is doing. But, he is not aware of the hurt he is causing. How, when I’m piled up with work, I find it hard to do it and not just put everything aside, including exercise, and do nothing.

Like my mother, and other toxic ‘friends’ I have had, I will just cut it off.
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