White House – Men With Rifles On the Roof!, 3546

Good afternoon, I’m still reporting on the coup. The following few sentences are actual facts. I’ll be sure to provide a warning before I stray into satice.
White House office of the first lady, 09:57 <info@mail.whitehouse.gov>
Leaving WH for JBA. Did not see FLOTUS get into car.
Earlier in the morning there were four - 5 police officers on the roof of the WH with what looked like rifles. Am told this is an everyday occurrence and had no further explanation why they are there . (saw a couple of them come down and their uniforms said “police.”)
In case anyone in this audience has trouble distinguishing fact from satire – the preceding was fact – what follows is satire – exaggerated to make a point.
Police? What a newbie! Weren’t police pretty much defunded with the Democrat victory in November. The newsworthiness of this is that these people with “police” on their uniforms could well be imposters.
Who do we call to investigate this and capture the riflemen should they be imposters – heaven forbid white separatist militia people? Those people would shoot a herd of baby Easter bunnies just for the sport of it.