Mornings With Little Mother_ Make Me Over, Lord Please Change Me..... Dont Give Up

Hey Family,

This is mornings with little Mother and will probably be the most candid I have been with you all. I mentioned to you all that I would share a little bit of what has been going on with me and Jesus.

I’ve been in a dark night where it feels like the heavens have been shut and I been feeling pressed on every side and weighed down by seeing the wretchedness of my own sin. Many of the saints endured trials like this some last year’s where they had to preserver faithfully and submit themselves to Gods will leave them in this state. I believe all believers go through this in one way of the other and it comes down to how we respond.

Since last two week upon sharing with you how the Lord was really convicting my heart about repentance, I thought the light had broken through. The Lord showed me areas I had fallen and I repentant and I thought we could just move on from there however I see Jesus is looking for deep really deep contrition. So, it seemed like every song, every rhema I was getting still continued to point out hidden sins or call me to repentance which made me feel so discouraged. The devils of course took this opportunity to pound me with such condemnation/ I tried looking for Jesus in holy book readings, getting rhema from the website even a rhema message because I hadn’t heard the Lords voice or received a message from him in two weeks. However, it seemed everywhere I looked for help to pull me out of this pit there was none. I kept getting rhema’s on suffering, to endure, to preserver in this state. After the message on the rapture From Jesus to Mother Clare. I was greatly struggling with that and great confusion came over me. I didn’t know how the work of the City of God will come into play if he was coming so soon and all the promises he had given me. My soul was in anguish, I found myself full of anger and resentment because I had been here with the Lord 2 years ago when he said he was returning and had to lay all the promises again at his feet. I was just emotionally spent. I felt I had lost all inspiration to move forward and I was unsure how to even prepare myself or you guys for that matter. However, he was still talking about repentance in all my rhema’s and Lords supper readings.

Blessed Mother gave me the readings in the imitation of Mary twice in one week “Great afflictions for Gods faithful ones” and when I get that it is always a warning a great trial is coming; however, I didn’t perceive the trial would be between me and Jesus which I feel is the greatest cross to carry. I found myself full of grief, anguish and sadness so deep in my heart. I would cry endlessly it felt like during prayer as the enemy would pelt me with thoughts to give up, and made Jesus feel like a harsh taskmaster which I know he isn’t however, I have never felt so deep in hopelessness and at my roads end. I felt my heart grow hardened that even my time in prayer when he would play songs about his love nothing could pierce through, I felt absolutely nothing but pain and like a wall had been erected in my heart.

Then I decided to lay myself at the altar completely after a week or so when this feeling didn’t let up, I realized the Lord wanted me to endure in this. Guys the anger in my heart was so bad I had my fist clenched as the enemy was pelting me with thoughts that God is not faithful, and there is no point in believing anything because he can change it or ask you to sacrifice your promise again. Just give up already, you have fallen in discernment you can’t trust what you hear.” I was lying on the ground asking him for mercy I didn’t know what was coming over me. Then I glanced at Blessed Mothers picture and a loud thought came to my mind “I hate blessed Mother”. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I knew that thought wasn’t from me as the enemy continued to assail me with thoughts that I have blasphemed as well. I was undone and heart broken

MESSAGE TRANSCRIPT

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