Self-love Leads to Irritations

MESSAGE TRANSCRIPT

April 19, 2020

Hello brothers and sisters Youtube Family,

Oh how the Lord is serious about exposing my weaknesses and helping me to overcome that too as well. I hope it can be of help and encouragement to you too.

So family I found myself Sunday morning trying to squeeze in some alone time with the Lord before I am called in to help set the place up for our community worship. Usually one of my brothers tends too always want too join me in worship and prayer but I really wanted to be alone. I felt like I needed my space he follows me around sometimes. So I slipped out of the house whiles he was praying and went up to the ridge of the mountain and had a sweet sweet time with the Lord. I was only able to worship with a few songs then went to Mother Clare and Father ezekiels house to see if they needed my help in setting up the room for worship. However my brother was already there waiting on me and helping them. Guys I don’t know what came over me but I just became irritated okay I know what came over me...my flesh. I felt as if he was looking for me and assumed I would be at Mother’s House so because he usually helps me clean.
I had opened a door, and because of my irritation and judgment I had lost my peace. During our worship time I felt so uncomfortable and was in much pain because of it. I kept asking the Lord to forgive me as continuous thoughts of irritation and annoyance bombarded me about my brother. Then after our community time I was asked to stay and clean-up which I usually do. However, because I was now irritated, that caused even more irritation as I cleaned sulking. I just really wanting too escape into the Lords presence to repent and to regain my peace. Man guys, I am a hot mess. So the Lord being faithful allowed this pain to persist for the most part of our time together as I submitted to this cross he allowed and offered it to him. I had to confess before Mother Clare to get an absolution of my wrong attitude. So after I left there I sat before the Lord in adoration because I believe he wanted to speak to my heart as he played a song over me as I was cleaning about “hearing his voice”

So I said to the Lord,
where do I began I know that you are not at all surprised with my shortcomings or my response to the test you allow. I was at such a sweet place with you this morning even with the few songs you played over me..then a thought came to my mind as I realized I was hit with arrows of irritation right when I woke up .When my other two brothers came early to unload the groceries from town even before I began my time of worship.
Jesus began,
Irritations, irritations, irritations ,my beloved daughter they all stem from self love, self, self, self that is what I’m trying to get rid of. You were right to say the door opened the moment you woke up out of bed, you were irritated by your brothers rather than seeing all the hard work they did getting all of the groceries, driving in so early to accommodating you and your other brother. So that you guys may have food to eat for breakfast in the morning and also to ensure that they would be here in time for community worship. You didn’t see that did you? No, you judged them and got irritated because you were focused on yourself. Then concerning your little brother, I Indeed have fashioned your souls together. You two will have a long lasting relationship beyond this mountain and community. I did tell you when he first arrived he is to be your little brother and that will be quite literal my dear one. There are many weaknesses in his soul, in areas that he has faced deep rejection my little one. I have put you here to heal many of those wounds, with your love, compassion and patience beloved. You are to help him along the way to holiness as he will be a great help to you not only in sanctification but, in joy and many consolations. So truly take him under your wing here while there is still time. He is your replacement and will follow in your footsteps in many of the things I have called you too. That is why he clings to you so closely, looks up to you and loves you very much. So my little one, don’t allow any more irritations to cause you too remove yourself from him beloved once again its self-love creeping in. Why do you think I allowed you never to have your own hermitage?

Me: Well Lord now looking back I can see the many reason’s… to grow in charity and brother love and to get rid of selfishness…self love

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