Top 15 Little Johnny Jokes

Top 15 Jokes about Little Jhonny
Little Johnny asks:
- Mom, how did I appear?
- We found you in the cabbage.
- And how did my sister appear?
- And we found her in a rose.
The next day Little Johnny enters the parents' room and, finding them for an interesting exercise, says:
- Well, gardening in full process?

- Little Johnny, who do you listen more, mom or dad?
- I listen to my mom more.
- Why?
- She talks more.

Mother scolded Little Johnny: if he was late for dinner, he should be silent at the table.
He, of course, was late again.
- Listen, Mom...
- Not a word!
- There...
- I say it again, shut up!
After lunch:
- Well, what did you want to say?
- Oh, nonsense! There little brother in the room cuts your money with scissors...

Little Johnny comes up to Mary and says:
- Mary, can I use you as a woman?
- You have some vulgar thoughts!
- This is Mary, yours thoughts are vulgar, just my ball rolled into the women's toilet!

Teacher: How old is your father?
Johnny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Little Johnny: He became father only after I was born.

Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” says his mom, “Of course not.” After Little Johnny runs back outside,
his mom hears him yell to his friend, “It`s OK, we can keep playing!”

Little Johnny comes home from Sunday school with a black eye.
His father sees it and says, “Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with other boys?”
“But Dad, it wasn`t my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt.
I reached over and pulled it out. That’s when she hit me!” “Johnny,” the father said. “You don`t do those kind of things to women.”
Sure enough, the very next Sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny`s father said, “Johnny, I thought we had a talk!” “But Dad, it wasn`t my fault.
There we were in a church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt.
Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn`t like this, so I pushed it back in!”

Little Johnny's older brother got married. The next morning after the wedding, the guests wake up, the groom's mother calls everyone to the table for breakfast.
All are there except the newlyweds. Everybody are waiting, but they didn`t show up. Well, we sat down and have breakfast.
The groom's mother:
- Well, why aren't they coming?
And then Little Johnny smiling and says:
- And I think...
Mother – slap him once in the head.
- Be quiet, you fool, here are guests.
Time for dinner, the groom's mother again sets the table, drinks, snacks. All to the table, no newlyweds.
Mother:
- Where are they?
Little Johnny smiling:
- And I think...
Bam, over the ear again.
Well, for dinner the same story, no newlyweds.
The mother is already in a panic:
- I don’t understand why they are not there?
Little Johnny (covering his ears):
- And I think...
- Well, ok. Tell us what you wanted to say.
- And I think, when last night the brother was looking for Vaseline in the closet, he took my glue for aircraft models by mistake.

- Little Johnny, when will you finally correct the bad marks?
- Dad, I try to do it every day. But the teacher never leaves the journal unattended for a minute!

When their eyes met Little Johnny was confused, either from the fact that he fell in love, or from the fact that at that moment he was shitting behind the garage.

Little Johnny don`t go to the disco anymore, otherwise you will become deaf.
Thank you, mom, I've already eaten.

The teacher proves to the students the harm of alcohol, takes a worm and throws it into a glass of alcohol, the worm is dead.
Throws the worm into a glass of water, the worm is alive.
- Children what conclusion you can do?
Little Johnny:
- If you drink alcohol, then there will be no helminth.

Biology lesson, the teacher asks Little Johnny:
- Little Johnny tell me how to distinguish a bull from a cow?
Little Johnny
- When you milk the bull, he smiles...

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks,
an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.
"And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey, Dad! What are you doing?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says,
"Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman already filled her up this morning."

AND BONUS ONE.

The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He continued 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”.
She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”.
He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”.
She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”.
He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.

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