The Kid Episode IV - A Man Can Get Used To Anything Short Of Hanging

He whipped out his notebook and scribed out the following monologue:

“You know what my Irish grandmother used to say?
“A man can get used to anything short of hanging.”
She said it while peeling potatoes. Not dramatically. Not like it was wisdom. Just like it was weather.
Like: “Looks like rain.”
Like: “The dog’s got worms again.”
Like: “A man can get used to anything short of hanging.”
And I laughed. Every time.
Because it’s funny, right?
It’s funny the way a funeral is funny when the priest forgets the name of the deceased.
It’s funny the way your life is funny when you realize it’s just a long series of things you got used to....and inappropriate laughs are often the heartiest!
I tried to write a routine about it.
About love.
About devotion.
About how we get used to people.
How we get used to being disappointed by them.
How we get used to disappointing them back.
How we call that love.
But it wasn’t funny.
It was just true.
And truth is like a potato—nutritious, but hard to sell onstage.
So I scrapped the routine.
But I kept the line.
“A man can get used to anything short of hanging.”

And I wondered:
Why did it make me laugh?
Maybe because it’s brave.
Maybe because it’s hopeless.
Maybe because it’s both.
And that’s the punchline of existence.

You ever laugh at something and then wonder if you’re the joke?
That’s what it feels like.
That’s what she gave me.
A line that makes me laugh and makes me wonder why.
So I say it now, like a prayer.
Like a spell.
Like a punchline.
“A man can get used to anything short of hanging.”