The Lightbulb Still Won In The End

📡 FIELD REPORT TO: SUPER EARTH HIGH COMMAND

Incident Designation: Rebound Watcher Termination
Operational Zone: Illuminate Front
Mission Difficulty: Level 10
Squad Status: Full Deployment – Duck, Wolf, Basta, Mario
Enemy Classification: Illuminate Watcher (“Lightbulb”)

📋 INCIDENT SUMMARY

While Helldiver Duck was returning to the operational combat zone after a temporary boundary violation, an Illuminate Watcher — commonly identified as a “Lightbulb” — initiated reinforcement beacon protocols.

Acting with flawless instinct, Helldiver Wolf neutralized the Watcher mid-activation.
However, physics and liberty conspired.

The disintegrated remains of the Watcher achieved ballistic independence and magnificently kamikazed directly into Duck’s position, detonating mere feet behind him and resulting in an immediate and artistically tragic demise.

Duck’s final transmission:

“Wolf, You Shot That Lightbulb And It Landed Into Me And Kamikazed Its Way To Me As It Killed Me. That Was Beautiful.”

Wolf responded with strategic sincerity:

“Couldn’t Have Been Planned Better, Huh? Just Saying.”

✅ OPERATIONAL OUTCOME

✔ Illuminate reinforcement denied
✔ Target technically neutralized
✔ Morale boosted through laughter
✖ One Helldiver temporarily KIA
✖ Friendly physics questionable

High Command reminds all personnel that while precision shots are encouraged, gravity remains a known wildcard of liberty.

🎨 Pixel artwork by Cronos-99 — thanks for letting us use your art!