⚠️Before It’s Too Late: What We Missed, What We Misunderstood, I Hope Other Families Learn from This

⚠️ Before It’s Too Late: What We Missed, What We Misunderstood, and What I Hope Other Families Learn from This

I want to share something deeply personal, not to blame anyone, but because I hope it helps another family recognize what we didn’t see until it was too late.

Years ago, after a flu shot, my mother-in-law became extremely sick — suddenly, and then permanently.
But because the decline was slow and confusing, nobody understood what was happening.

At first, we honestly thought she was:
• tired
• avoiding going out
• becoming lazy
• glued to her computer
• not looking after herself

Her own daughter even told her she “stunk” during a family trip — thinking she was just not bathing out of neglect or disinterest.

But the truth was the opposite.

She wasn’t being lazy.
She wasn’t giving up.
She wasn’t choosing to isolate.
She was fighting for oxygen.

And none of us knew.

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⚠️ What Slow Medical Decline Really Looks Like (But Most Families Mistake for Behaviour)

When someone is experiencing:
• chronic low oxygen
• blood clots
• pulmonary hypertension
• heart strain
• undiagnosed autoimmune injury

…it doesn’t look dramatic.

It looks like:
• fatigue
• not wanting to go out
• staying in a room
• not showering
• seeming disinterested
• avoiding phone calls
• losing energy
• not “trying”
• withdrawing

Families interpret this as personality changes.
But it’s really the body shutting down.

And when oxygen drops low enough, even bathing becomes impossible.
Lifting your arms becomes exhausting.
Standing in the shower becomes dangerous.
People hide it because they’re embarrassed.

That’s what happened to her.

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💔 It Caused Arguments, Hurt Feelings, and Years of Distance

Because nobody understood what was happening physically, her symptoms were mistaken for:
• laziness
• stubbornness
• attitude
• bad habits

And that misunderstanding destroyed relationships.

Arguments happened.
Feelings were hurt.
People thought they were “helping” by pointing things out… but it only created shame.

Years passed without speaking.

Her other daughter, living in Alberta, didn’t get to see her again before she died — because nobody realized the severity of her illness until the very end.

This wasn’t anyone’s fault.

It was medical neglect.

She was never investigated.
Never properly tested.
Never taken seriously.

They just gave her oxygen and sent her home — over and over.

And because of that, our family didn’t understand what was really happening until it was irreversible.

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💔 At the End, She Finally Collapsed — and Only Then Did We Learn the Truth

On the day she died, the hospital told us she had a pulmonary embolism — a blood clot in the lungs.

Something that should have been caught YEARS earlier.

Something that explains every symptom she had.

Something that destroys lives slowly, quietly, invisibly…
while families mistake it for personality changes.

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✨ Why I’m Sharing This

Because I don’t want another family to go through what we did.

I don’t want another loved one to be judged, shamed, or misunderstood because nobody can see past the symptoms.

And I don’t want another person to die from something that could have been diagnosed, treated, or even prevented.

If someone you love suddenly becomes:
• exhausted
• withdrawn
• unable to shower
• always tired
• breathless
• weak
• dizzy
• foggy
• unable to walk without stopping

Please — don’t assume it’s laziness.
Don’t assume it’s depression.
Don’t assume it’s “just age.”

It might be something far more serious.

Push for answers.
Push for tests.
Push for oxygen levels and clot screening.
Push before it’s too late.

Because we didn’t know what we were seeing.

And by the time we understood, we had already lost years we could never get back.

If this message opens even one person’s eyes in time…
her story will save someone else’s life.