Why You Shouldn’t Build Your Identity Around Your Pain | Ep 139

In this episode of the Wellness Connection Podcast, Fiona Kane talks about the hidden dangers of building your identity around your wounds. Inspired by a powerful quote from RaQuel Hopkins, Fiona explains why holding on to your pain can keep you stuck, limit your growth, and shape how you see yourself in ways that aren’t helpful.

She breaks down how this shows up in everyday life - from leading every story with what happened to you, to feeling understood only when you talk about your struggles, to becoming defensive when someone questions the narrative you’ve built around your pain.

Fiona also shares her own experiences, including recovering from strokes in her 20s, and how shifting her perspective helped her move from feeling like a victim to finding meaning and strength in what she went through.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

The difference between acknowledging your pain and becoming defined by it
How emotional “pain bodies” keep you stuck
Why your feelings are data, not your identity
The impact of trauma bonding on friendships
How to move forward without dismissing your experiences
Why focusing on “what I can do” helps build a healthier, happier life

This conversation is a reminder that healing isn’t about denying what happened - it’s about refusing to let it become your whole story.

If this episode resonates with you, please like, subscribe, and share. It helps others find these conversations and join us in learning, growing, and taking better care of themselves.

Learn more about booking a nutrition consultation with Fiona: https://informedhealth.com.au/

Learn more about Fiona's speaking and media services: https://fionakane.com.au/