A Frame From Turning Brasta Into A Kebab

Incident Report To Super Earth High Command

Filed By: Helldiver Rubber Duck
Vessel Assignment: S.E.S. Soul of Audacity
Incident Type: Near-Fatal Precision Fire Misalignment
Planetary Conditions: Automaton-Controlled Zone — Heavy Incoming Fire

Situation Report:

During standard frontline suppression operations, Helldiver Brasta was laying down and under direct threat from a dual-chainsaw Automaton advancing rapidly on his position. Helldiver Rubber Duck engaged the hostile with controlled fire, neutralizing it moments before Brasta risked critical dismemberment.

Brasta was ordered to rise “Brasta, get up!” as Rubber Duck maneuvered around his position in a curved pattern to re-establish overwatch. With the Dust Devils Warbond spear launcher equipped, Rubber Duck prepared a precision shot through hostile fire lanes.

At this moment, Brasta unexpectedly sprinted from right to left — directly across Duck’s firing solution.

The spear was released one frame Before Brasta was in front of Duck.

Had Brasta been a single fraction of a second earlier, the projectile would have entered through the skull and exited through the other side. In one ear and out the other, literally. resulting in immediate KIA and a mandatory induction into the Wall of Martyrs.

Rubber Duck shouted, “Oh my god, Brasta!”
Brasta replied, “Oh— that was close.”
Rubber Duck attempted to formalize the near-miss (“That was frames from hitting you—”)
Brasta interrupted with official after-action commentary:
“I almost became a kebab.”

The squad — Rubber Duck, Brasta, and Wolf — entered a morale-boosting laughter cycle as Automaton forces momentarily withdrew.

The incident has been documented for tactical review, reflex timing analysis, and prevention of future spear-based decapitation events among Helldiver units.

Outcome:

• Brasta: Alive (narrowly avoided kebabification)
• Speargun: Confirmed lethal
• Friendly Fire Incident: Miraculously avoided
• Automaton Hostiles: Further reduced
• Squad Morale: High

Democracy preserved.
Report submitted to Super Earth High Command.

🎨 Pixel artwork by Cronos-99 — thanks for letting us use your art!