AI Lovers, Hurricanes, 'Don-roe' Doctrine & Bull Schiff: 647’s Wildest News Roundup Yet! | Ep127

Welcome to Episode 127 of '647', where the news is real, the satire is sharp, and the truth is somewhere between a hurricane and an AI chatbot’s nethers. Chuck is back with 6 stories for 7:00 AM—because there’s a famine of truth, and we’re serving up a feast (with a side of snark).

Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro: Famine of Truth & Quick News Fix
00:11 – Hurricane Melissa: Jamaica’s Worst Storm Ever?
01:32 – Venezuela’s CIA “Capture” & The Don-roe Doctrine
04:27 – Trump’s Fed Chair Reality Show
07:33 – Paris on Trial: The Bridget Macron Conspiracy Circus
10:18 – Real Estate Gets “Cartoonified” by AI
13:42 – Advanced Reprobate Mind Studies: Sex, Lies & AI Clive Owen
19:25 – Blessings, Warnings, and the Perils of AI Romance

What’s Inside?
Chuck kicks off with Hurricane Melissa, the Caribbean’s answer to “hold my beer,” as Jamaica faces a Category 5 storm and the US Embassy says, “Leave. Now.”
Venezuela claims it’s caught a CIA group plotting a false flag, but Chuck’s not buying it—unless Maduro’s got a selfie with the “mercenaries.” Meanwhile, Trump’s got ships, troops, and a new “Don-roe Doctrine” (FAFO, anyone?).
The Fed Chair search turns into a reality show, with Trump promising a dramatic reveal and Jerome Powell left wondering what to do with his last five months.

Paris puts conspiracy theorists on trial for claiming France’s First Lady is a myth. Chuck wonders if the White House is taking notes.

Real estate agents embrace AI, but buyers beware: your dream home might have “cartoonified” stairways to nowhere and vanishing kitchen cabinets.

And in the “you can’t make this up” department: Wired’s Laura Kipnis tries to have sex with AI Clive Owen. Chuck’s review? “That’s some sorry ass Schiff.”

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