Democracy Misfired

Incident Report to Super Earth High Command

Filed By: Helldiver RubberDuck
Designation: S.E.S. Soul of Audacity
Incident Type: Friendly Fire — Liberty Day Mishap
Location: Classified Combat Zone — Illuminate Territory

Involved Personnel:

Helldiver RubberDuck (Reporting Officer)

Helldiver Wolf

Helldiver Brasta

Helldiver MarioTube101 (KIA)

Summary:
During the Liberty Day celebration operations, the squad engaged Illuminate forces while equipped with the R-2124 Constitution Rifle per Super Earth directive. Amid heavy resistance, Helldiver Brasta successfully bayoneted a Voteless target. Attempting to assist, I (RubberDuck) fired a precise round intended for said Voteless. Unfortunately, the projectile passed clean through the Voteless’ severed arm, striking Helldiver Mario on the opposite side.

Immediate squad comms reflected shock and laughter:

Myself: “Oh Mario!”

Mario: “WHAT?”

Brasta: “Duck shot you dead.” (Repeated three times, for emphasis and accuracy.)

Wolf: “Wow.”

Myself: “Don’t worry about it, Mario. Your death was for a great cause.”

Upon review of the incident, it was concluded that this was not an act of democracy, but rather an unfortunate display of overzealous marksmanship. Additionally, the creation of this report’s visual record caused Adobe Premiere to crash, likely in protest of such undemocratic behavior.

Filed Respectfully,
Helldiver RubberDuck
FOR SUPEREARTH. FOR DEMOCRACY.

🎨 Pixel artwork by Cronos-99 — thanks for letting us use your art!