i'll never have enough of what kills me

3 days ago
28

silly faces from yours truly
i don't wanna blame ____ for my bad behavior
i don't wanna blame anybody but me
my conscience could be yelling n flailing, it might be reverse pride
i was very, very sensitive back then
they were right to be concerned that i would crumble
if i hadn't trusted a psychiatrist would i have ended up on this path
i most definitely woulda still ended up a drunk
when that liquor touched my lips i could easily forget that i existed (exactly what i always wanted)
i know i can never safely use the stuff cos that self-destructive part of me will always be there
that obsession/compulsion could very easily turn into sumin else that tells me that i'm free
God wants you to get low so He can reach ya
ya gotta be in a place of total desperation to trust Him completely, it's just the way it is
i just said the word any but i confused myself
it takes every little bit of feeling like shit to realize that you could have it so much better
i always knew where i put my bottle
notice that the drugs i mentioned aren't considered drugs by society
i'd always buy two packs at a time
i always had at least 3 lighters
back up for the back up (true addict behavior)
it was rare that i bummed cigarettes
eventually i never ran outta weed

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