"The Court of His Mousiness" (Skit in Description)

"Mercy Man", which has characters unfamiliar to the general public, is what I'd planned to share this morning, but I wasn't going to sing the theme song at 1:30AM, or in a separate upload. I'll share the plot, the handful of scenes I wrote, including a suggested conclusion, within the next couple of days. "Always The Florist, Never The Corpse", my silent movie proposal, will be toward the end of the week.
***************

"The Court of His Mousiness"

Judge Mickey: "Huh ha ha! What's next on the docket, Bailiff Goofy?"

Bailiff Goofy: "Well, garsh, boss! It looks like we got an arraignment for a purse snatching flasher."

Judge Mickey: "Oh, golly! A larcenous exhibitionist! This court's never seen one o' those before. Does he hang out after grabbing the purses? Huh ha ha! This won't be family friendly, ladies and gentlemen, so, please... surrender all recording devices to Bailiff Goofy."

Bailiff Goofy: "I already got 'em, Judge Mickey! Auto-searched, cataloged, scrubbed, and sanitized with lovely GMO chemicals!"

Judge Mickey: "Huh ha ha! Well done, Bailiff Goofy!"

[Mickey turns his attention to the defendant after Pluto walks him in.]

Judge Mickey: "For the crime of exhibitionism, how do you plead?"

Defendant: "Guilty, Your Mousiness."

Judge Mickey: "And for the crime of larceny, how do you plead?"

Defendant: "Not guilty, Your Mousiness."

Judge Mickey: [Surprised] "Oh?! And do you not steal women's purses before exposing yourself?"

Defendant: "No, Your Mousiness."

Judge Mickey: "Are you rescinding your guilty plea? Please elaborate."

Defendant: "No, Your Mousiness. What I mean to say is that I don't keep the purses after I take them. Theft is with the intent to permanently deprive, correct?"

Judge Mickey: "Huh ha ha! Well done! However, do you know what the penalty is for psychological torture vs petty theft?"

Defendant: "No, Your Mousiness."

Judge Mickey: "As an analogy, driving away with someone's car is grand theft, but stealing the stereo is burglary and carries a greater penalty. Am I getting through to you?"

Defenant: "Yes, Your Mousiness."

Judge Mickey: "So... To the crime of larceny, how do you plead?"

Defenant: "Guilty, Your Mousiness."

Judge Mickey: "Excellent! And people try to claim that this court doesn't take itself seriously. Huh ha ha! You are hereby sentenced to ride the teacups until a jury of your peers is wholly convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that you've lost your will to live."

Defendant: "Are you serious, Your Mousiness? I feel almost as bad for that jury as I do for myself. What did they do wrong?"

Judge Mickey: "The crimes of the jury are not matters of public record, but let's just say that you didn't toss any garbage on our park grounds, other than into designated receptacles."

Defendant: "So they're litterers, then, Your Mousiness?"

Judge Mickey: "Huh ha ha! Did you hear that, Bailiff Goofy? A flasher who grasps junior high grade nuance. You'd think he'd have enough sense to keep what's private private."

[The defendant blushes and lowers his head in shame.]

Bailiff Goofy: "Uh hur! Yer right, Judge Mickey! Shall I take the defendant to the teacups now?"

Judge Mickey: "Yes, but first drop by death row in the basement below that "small world" um... attraction(?) to retrieve the jury. Apply full body shackles and chain them together before loading them onto the open-air trolley to observe the carrying out of the sentencing. If they're silly enough to ask if they're being exonerated, tell them, 'Yes.' Huh ha ha!"

Bailiff Goofy: "Will do, boss! Uh hur! And, hey... THANKS! I've got that song stuck in my head now, in 5 different languages!"

Judge Mickey: "Does that include the German version? If so, and assuming there are any words that may cause spittle to fly, sing that for the jury on the drive over to the teacups."

Bailiff Goofy: "Sorry, boss, but the best I can do is Arabic."

Judge Mickey: "Oh, boy! Loogies! Even better!"

[Spectators begin laughing. Judge Mickey raises his magic wand, as if prepared to cast a spell in lieu of pounding a gavel. The spectators turn eerily silent and gasp at the wand along with Mickey's wide-eyed expression of frustration.]

Judge Mickey: "I will have order in this court!"

[Mickey's face returns to a calm.]

Judge Mickey: "Just kidding, folks! The case is closed and I'm being terribly catty today. Huh ha ha!"