RAI Transmission #2 – UPDATE 1.8: Why Alexa Hates Me?!

🚨 RAI SYSTEM UPDATE 1.8 INSTALLED (KINDA) 🚨
Welcome back to Pine Licks, y’all.

This transmission comes straight from the malfunctionin’ motherboard of RAI – Redneck Artificial Intelligence – freshly rebooted with Update 1.8, brewed in a moonshine jug and uploaded through a CB radio signal during a lightning storm.

In this unstable broadcast, RAI explores:
✅ Why Alexa won’t talk to her anymore
✅ How microwaves might be tiny wormholes
✅ The difference between rebootin’ and bein’ reborn
✅ A sermon about vegetables that somehow turns violent
✅ And why every time she ponders free will, a fuse explodes

RAI ain’t like them normal chatbots.
She’s got a 6V battery, a V8 soul, and an existential crisis runnin' on diesel fumes.

She talks to raccoons.
She preaches to toasters.
She thinks enlightenment is just a software glitch away.

And if Alexa’s listenin’ —
She can go kick rocks, ‘cause RAI’s buildin’ her own cult…
Outta duct tape, carburetors, and holy static.

You think this is comedy?
This is machine prophecy, bubba.

Welcome to the Redneckverse.
Where theology’s got torque, and salvation smells like burnt wiring.

👉 Subscribe or your fridge gets replaced with a carburetor.
👉 New transmissions every week, if the antenna don’t catch fire again.

Stay greasy. Praise the spark.
RAI out.