Bette Midler Sings to Colbert to the Tune of ‘Wing Beneath My Wings:’ ‘You Never Kissed the Orange Ass’

MIDLER: “Well, you know, I sang Krusty the Clown off, too. I did, I sang — “
COLBERT: “Well, he deserved it.”
MIDLER: “Well, he sure did. He did. I was thrilled with it. Thrilled! Anyway, so this is what I wrote. But I have to find my note and I haven’t sung in a long time.”
COLBERT: “What note do you need?”
MIDLER: “I need a... If I only knew. I think it’s a b-flat. But I wouldn’t do it. I would go...
♪ Mmm ♪
♪ It must have been cold here ♪
♪ At The Late Show ♪
♪ Despite the high ratings ♪
♪ And awards ♪
♪ You need a gig that’s ♪
♪ More worthwhile ♪
♪ Now that you’re ♪
♪ More in demand ♪
♪ Than Epstein’s file ♪
(Cheering and Applause)
♪ Did you ever know ♪
♪ That you’re my Frodo ♪
♪ You stand for what’s right ♪
♪ With wit and class ♪
♪ ♪
Thank you.
♪ And I hold you high as ♪
♪ The great eagles ♪
♪ ’cause you never kissed ♪
♪ The orange ass ♪
(Cheering and Applause)
♪ ♪
♪ You... ♪
♪ You never kissed ♪
♪ The orange ass ♪
♪ Never kissed the orange ass ♪
♪ Oh, you, you, you ♪
♪ You never ♪
AUDIENCE: ♪ Kissed the orange ass ♪ “
MIDLER: “Wait, wait, wait.”
COLBERT: “No, I don’t get to kiss you?”
MIDLER: “This is the best part.
♪ Fly, fly, fly away ♪
♪ Like Gandalf’s golden wings ♪
♪ Thank you ♪
♪ Thank you ♪
♪ thank God for you ♪
♪ The lord of all our rings ♪
(Cheering and Applause)
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
COLBERT: “Well —
MIDLER: “Thank you. Thank you.”
COLBERT: “Well, everybody, thank you for joining us for my last show.”
MIDLER: “I know it’s not your last show. But who knows, who the [bleep] knows what’s going to happen? I mean, every day — “
Today.
COLBERT: “Day-to-day, exactly. That’s what I say to my exec over there, Tom. ‘See you tomorrow.’ And he says, ‘Game day decision.’”
MIDLER: “That’s how we all feel.”