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UNIT The Tunnel.
Note: all tracks recorded under the names Academy 23 or UNIT are the property of DNA Records and protected by copyright, regardless of who wrote the works concerned. This is a track from Trains Run On My One Track Mind, our 55th album, recorded in 2025.
Wayne Morgan loved old railways, decrepit and defunct,
decaying signal boxes with their apparatus junked,
a crumbling station hidden underneath a verdant screen,
to transform it into silence and grow from grey to green.
He fancied Nora Norton; she did not fancy him.
Indeed his amorous intentions were invariably grim.
He thought himself an ugly troll and cursed resentfully
that he was not the kind of boy girls wanted him to be.
One morning during PE, diverted from the course,
he alighted on a railway bed, attracted by a force
he could not explain nor fully understand.
It wasn’t what he wanted; it wasn’t what he planned.
He traced an ancient path where the railway used to run
until progress was barred by what some Council men had done.
A mysterious tunnel blocked by a metal fence
perplexed and frustrated him; it really made no sense.
He pulled at it; he kicked it; he shouted and he swore
until, exhausted, he decided he could do no more.
Suddenly behind him, a teenage boy appeared,
dressed in shabby running kit and frankly rather weird.
“You’re wasting your time, Morgan.” was what he said.
“You should bring some proper tools to do the job instead.”
‘How the devil does he know my name?’ Morgan thought
but he kept silent as the boy seemed a nasty sort.
However, quite determined to destroy that metal fence,
he agreed to meet the boy again in 3 days hence.
A claw hammer, a crowbar and a screwdriver or two
were quite sufficient, Morgan thought, for what he had to do.
He saw Susan Beale and Sarah Bailey by the road;
they thought him rather boring and their attitude showed.
They poked an injured cat in the eyes with a pen;
it’s sadly true they could be rather callous now and then.
They asked him why he wore a boiler suit on such a day,
then said they would accompany him, much to his dismay.
He told them of the tunnel and the work he sought to do
and as they approached it, that boy was there, too.
Wayne’s opinion of the day was definitely poor.
Paul Fenton introduced himself; the girls liked what they saw.
With lascivious fascination they widened their eyes
and scrutinised the bare expanse of his calves and thighs.
But Paul remained indifferent, his attention on his work
and eventually the girls decided he was just a berk.
Wayne resented their intrusion. This was his secret place
and found it very hard to hide the anger from his face.
“Why do you wear those PE clothes all the bloody time?”
“Because walking naked in the streets constitutes a crime.
Now shut your face and help me pull this barrier away.”
Yes, Wayne thought he really should have stayed in bed that day.
Paul proved to be immensely strong; the fence fell apart.
Wayne tried to understand him but where would he even start?
Paul ignored the girls, his attention stayed on Wayne
who soon began to wonder if this boy was really sane.
They walked through the tunnel to the portal at the end,
confronted by another fence with which they must contend.
The tools Wayne had were insufficient; this they clearly knew
so they ran back to the other portal, not sure what to do.
At school Nora Norton invited Wayne to spend
Saturday at her house. He thought he’d found a friend
who may yet develop into something rather more.
This was a new experience he’d never felt before.
For her younger brother he built a rabbit hutch
although the little brat plainly didn’t like it much.
Nora stated Fenton was malevolent and wild,
probably a mentally defective problem child.
Despite her warning, Wayne agreed to meet the boy again
on Thursday during PE amid torrential rain.
He carried heavy duty tools to ensure success,
determined to destroy that fence and leave it in a mess.
Amid all the smashing and crashing they fought
to destroy that fence during which Wayne thought
he detected a demonic aspect to Paul
he really did not like at all.
After the exercise they shared a fizzy drink
and that was when Wayne began to think
maybe what Nora said ought to be respected
for what the boy did next was highly unexpected.
Sat next to Wayne he began to masturbate,
muttering profanities I’d rather not relate.
Sickened and disgusted, Wayne leapt to his feet,
dazed and bewildered, his confusion complete.
Later that night at home he had a dream,
in which recent events were not what they seem.
On the right Nora waved to him, urging him on;
Paul sat opposite, all hope gone.
On Thursday Nora said at 6 Wayne could pay a visit.
It’s hardly a surprise he jumped for joy, is it?
After school he had another hour to wait
and what he did next is a matter for debate.
He took a final trip to the railway bed,
fell down the embankment and bashed his head.
He stood up and cried out in surprise
unable to believe what lay before his eyes.
The rails and sleepers were restored
apparently of their own accord.
He entered the tunnel and heard a call.
At the other portal he saw Paul.
He waved a response which Paul ignored.
With a wave of resentment he could ill afford,
annoyed, Wayne began to run toward young Paul
to demand an explanation, to make sense of it all.
This is why initially he never heard the noise
of the giant locomotive so beloved by many boys.
Too late, he realised the danger in that sound
as gigantic metal wheels crushed him into the ground.
His final thought in the second when he died
was that he should have stayed by Nora’s side.
Andy Martin – Vocals, Hammond Organ, CS 80, ARP 2600, Deltic Diesel.
Rachel Greenberg – Alto Saxophone, Guitar.
Keilan Knight – 5 String Bass Guitar.
Karen Elliot – Drums.
Text & Music – Andy Martin.
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