Bob & Doug in "B of Eh" (Skit in Description)

As an addendum to the audio, my lady friend in 2015 found "Kids In The Hall" painfully unfunny, too. And, no, she was FAR from socially conservative.

Speaking of SCTV, though, if you want to see Eugene Levy at his finest, check him out with John Candy in "Going Berserk". He plays a sleazy B-movie filmmaker who blackmails the prominent senator into documenting his daughter's wedding: (Candy's character's wife). Kurtwood Smith (Red from "That '70s Show") has a bit part as a cult leader. It was an early '80s movie with '60s sensibilities in terms of obligatory stupidity. The stupidity was smarter than "Our Man, Flint", though, thankfully. There's just something inherently wrong with a super spy who appears to have a bunch of concubines... fighting against objectification.

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[A 7Oish year young woman enters the bank, and Bob is diagonally to her left at the counter about 15 feet away.]

Bob: "Welcome to B of Eh, Eh?! What can I do for ya?"

Customer: "I'd like to open a new account."

Bob: Uh, okay, but if you do that on-line you get a free beer cozy."

Customer: "I don't trust the internet. Too many phishers."

Bob: "Me 'n' my brother, Doug... We're fishers. What's wrong with that, eh?"

Customer: "No, I mean P H phishers."

Bob: "Me 'n' Doug fish for perch all the time. We don't call 'em PHes, though. I don't know what part of The Great White North yer from, but maybe you should take your money elsewhere, eh?"

Customer: "No, I didn't mean 'perch,' I said P H. P H I S H I N G phishing."

Bob: "Oh, I gotcha, eh? And, sorry. If you still wanna open an account, please have a seat to your right and a rep will be with you shortly."

Customer: "Thank you."

[Bob's brother, Doug, opens a door to the far right side of the bank after a few minutes and steps out of the office.]

Doug: "How may I help you, eh?"

Customer: "I'd like to open a checking account, please?"

Doug: "Sure thing! For showing interest you get a free beer cozy, eh?"

Customer: "I'm sorry... I was just told by the other gentleman that I'd receive a beer cozy if I opened an account on-line."

Doug: "That's true, eh?"

Customer: "But why would he tell me that?"

Doug: (Smiling / patronizing) "Uh, because it's... uh... TRUE, eh?"

[Doug's eyes dart around as he purses his lips to prevent laughter.]

Customer: "You misunderstand. Apparently he was trying to chase me out of the bank with bait."

Doug: "Bait?! He warned me on the phone in my office that you might have a problem with fishers. Do you, eh?"

Customer: "Yes, I do."

Doug: "Please take your business elsewhere, Miss. We don't take kindly to your kind, eh?"

Customer: "Your kind?!"

Doug: "Thank you, but why ya shoutin' and askin' 'bout me bein' kind if yer just tellin' me I'm kind, eh?"

Customer: "You're not!"

Doug: "Well, if I'm net fishin', I like to use a Palomar."

Customer: "I'm leaving!"

Doug: "Why? You asked about my knot and I told you. You still get yer beer cozy for comin' in, eh?"

Customer: "I don't drink beer!"

Doug: "Coke?"

Customer: "How DARE you?! I don't do drugs!"

Doug: "Geez, lady. I'm talkin' 'bout soda. Ya could still use the cozy for a can o' soda or juice, eh?"

Customer: "Fine! Give it to me!"

Doug: "That's a first. $250 for unruly behavior at a financial institution under Canadian law, eh? No one's ever asked for it before. I'll need your contact information, or we can let the facial recognition software do it so ya can get home sooner to use your cozy, eh?"

Customer: "This is absurd!"

Doug: "$500, now. I don't make the rules, but I gotta enforce 'em, eh?"

[The customer begins to storm out with her hands over her face, not bothering to remember that she was filmed upon arrival.]

Bob: "Hey, Doug?!"

Doug: "Whatcha want, eh?!"

Bob: "Did you get her account opened up?"

Doug: "Nah, everything was fine, eh?"

Bob: "Whatcha mean, 'Nah,' if everything was fine, eh?"

Doug: "Forget about it. Let's go have a beer in my office."

Bob: "Okay, but I can forget even better in 3B, eh?"

Doug: "Ya can't have 3 while we're workin', eh?"

Bob: "How 'bout we take lunch?"

Doug: [Giggling nasally with the back of his tongue pressed against the roof of his mouth] "There's always a loophole to start drinkin', eh?"