DAN of the CAVE!

In the United Kingdom of 2025, the relentless squeeze on the average working man's finances has rendered the traditional grind of urban wage slavery not just burdensome, but a mathematical folly when stacked against the raw self-sufficiency of a Neolithic-era retreat. Inflation lingers at 3.8% as of July, with projections hitting 4% by September, eroding real wages despite nominal increases like the 6.7% National Living Wage hike in April—leaving disposable incomes for low-to-middle earners flatlined since 2023, after a decade of post-2008 pay stagnation that has only deepened with the cost-of-living crisis. Household bills surged 26.1% for water and sewage in "awful April," energy costs remain volatile despite a July dip, and 22% of adults are borrowing more just to scrape by, turning a 40-hour week into a Sisyphean trap where taxes, rent, and utilities devour output before it hits the pocket. Contrast this with off-grid viability: initial setups for solar, wells, and composting systems can recoup via grants like £7,500 for heat pumps, slashing ongoing bills to near-zero—no grid electricity, no council tax on owned rural land, and foraging or fishing yielding sustenance at a fraction of supermarket markups inflated by Brexit red tape. For a man eyeing cost-benefit, the Neolithic pivot—hunting, gathering, minimal shelter—emerges as economically superior, freeing capital from the drone cycle for true autonomy rather than subsidizing a system that leaves 53% of Britons anticipating recession.

Layer on the Orwellian clownshow under Sir Keir Starmer's regime, where the average white bloke risks seven years in the clink for a fiery X post venting frustration over the 2024 riots—nearly 600 arrests for "stirring racial hatred" via social media, with swift jailings for anything deemed incitement, while the state drags its feet on grooming gangs that ravaged thousands of girls in Rotherham, Rochdale, and beyond. Authorities "shied away" from prosecuting predominantly Pakistani-heritage networks for fear of racism accusations, per the 2025 Casey audit, enabling a culture of cover-ups where naughty cops and social services allegedly funneled vulnerable kids into exploitation pipelines—yet a dissenting tweet from a working-class lad gets the full hammer, as Starmer's "national violent disorder programme" prioritizes online thought police over systemic rot. In this two-tier farce on a "shit island," checking out to fish in isolation isn't retreat—it's rational calculus: evade the jail-for-Jenga risk of "tweeting while white," dodge the moral hazard of a state that jails rioters but audits grooming data inadequately, and reclaim sovereignty in a cave or yurt where the only overlord is the tide, not a burgundy-scarfed knight errant.