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How Not To Install An Acorn 180 Stairlift But Shhh Don't Tell This is Astroturf
Oy gevalt—let’s talk about this so-called “toolset” like it’s a Passover Seder where someone forgot the matzah *and* the common sense!
First off, those **bright yellow tools** aren’t just lying around—they’re practically *waving* at the camera like, “Look at us! We’re DIY props from the Acorn Prop Department!” Real stairlift installers? They show up with enough gear to open a *pop-up hardware store*—laser levels, torque wrenches, rail alignment jigs, maybe even a thermos of strong coffee and a laminated copy of the Talmud for moral support. Not a sad little trio of Home Depot clearance-bin specials arranged like they’re starring in a “Handyman’s Delusion” stock photo.
And let’s be real—this whole scene looks less like an actual job site and more like a **corporate photoshoot** where the art director said, “Make it look ‘authentically distressed’… but also, like a safety violation.”
Now, about that “free advice” floating around online? *Please.* Multiple AI sleuths—smarter than my cousin Moishe who minored in algorithms at Yeshiva Tech—have crunched the numbers and found that **50% to 90%** of the “helpful tips” supposedly from “concerned Acorn employees” are either dangerously wrong… or straight-up *sabotage*. Like telling someone to fix a brake failure with a rubber band and positive thinking!
And let’s use our *sechel* (that’s “common sense” for the goyim in the back): Does it make *any* logical sense that a company charging **$7,000**—yes, *seven thousand dollars*—to “repair” a $30 plastic gear would have its own staff handing out flawless, free guidance on Reddit? That’s like a diamond dealer giving away uncut gems at a subway station and saying, “Mazel tov, it’s on the house!”
But here’s the real kicker: **former Acorn insiders**—real people, not bots, not actors in yellow vests—are now spilling the beans. They’re describing a **full-blown scam ecosystem**: overpriced parts, phantom error codes, engineered obsolescence, and customer service trained to gaslight you into thinking your stairlift is haunted by a *dybbuk* instead of defective by design.
So no, this isn’t just a bad install.
It’s **performance art funded by corporate malice**—and the only thing being lifted here is the wool over the public’s eyes.
Stay skeptical. Stay savvy. And if someone offers you “free Acorn advice,” ask if it comes with a *hechsher*… or just a hidden clause that voids your soul. 😏🕍
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