Premium Only Content

Soul Food
Are you struggling to make ends meet? Still searching for that dream third job? Do you feel visceral pain every time you check out at the grocery store?
El Diablo can help you get a FREE bag of groceries. Just one quick, simple trick you can do from the comfort of your home so you can:
• Skip your weekly trip to the blood bank to sell plasma.
• Skip hauling your dusty junk out for a yard sale for pennies per purchase.
• Skip breaking & entering to rob your penny-pinching neighbors for grocery money.
Simply call 1-800-555-L-DIABLO to find out how you can sell your soul for a FREE bag of groceries.
What good is your soul if it’s just laying around collecting dust with your other junk? Put that useless soul to work and enjoy your FREE bag of groceries today!*
Offer limited to one branded grocery bag at the grocery store of your choice. Duffle bags, trash bags, lawn and garden bags and any other bags that aren’t made specifically for groceries don’t qualify for the free bag of groceries offer, even if they are the grocery store’s brand.
You must fill your grocery bag with grocery items at the same grocery story. Offer does not extend to the cash register or safe contents, or the contents of the grocery store staffs’ pockets.
Do not take your grocery bag to a bank or jewelry store and say, “Fill ‘er up!” Doing so could result in violent confusion.
Act fast – today’s offer will drop to half a bag soon. Customer service representatives are standing by. Call 1-800-555-L-DIABLO and grab your sack today!
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