The Word, Series 3, Episode 6, 04/12/92

The Word – S3E6 (4 Dec 1992): “Calvins, Calendars & Catastrophic Weather”

Tonight’s Word proves Britain can juggle high culture (Marky Mark’s pants) and natural disaster (Gloucestershire underwater) without spilling a drop of hair gel. We open with Dannii Minogue doing pure-pop diplomacy (“Love’s On Every Corner”), then confessing she once belted “The Final Countdown” on Aussie telly—which she now heroically refuses to recreate, even as the audience sings it at her anyway.

Field report: Dani Behr sloshes through Lower Littlebrook, where the town’s flooded, businesses are wrecked, and the only thing rising faster than the river is a local streaker. She brings soup, a magician who turns floodwater into wine (Gloucester’s first miracle since 1387), and the sort of morale you only get from ITV-era chaos.

Back in LA, we meet Fabio—a man built like a wardrobe and marketed like a candle. He insists he’s the sensitive new male while attempting to gently relocate the interviewer onto his lap. He’s passed on Tarzan/Hercules because he’s aiming for “James Bond, but moisturized.” America swoons; Britain phones Ofcom.

Music that actually matters arrives with Arrested Development debuting “Mr. Wendal” live on UK TV—joyful, humane, and the exact opposite of the hypnotist who pumps breasts with positive thinking (wrong episode, same energy). Shabba Ranks drops dancehall thunder; Buju Banton pops by for banter and bassline vitamin D.

Finally, Marky Mark materializes, shirt optional, ego ironed. He explains the Calvin Klein deal (“lure ‘em with underwear, hit ‘em with the music”) while the studio prepares to raffle a pair of his Calvins, because public service comes in many fabrics. Somewhere between flexes, he’s dubbed the Madonna of rap, which is generous to rap and a bit cruel to Madonna.

Highlights include: a streaker doing disaster relief, Fabio’s pictorial thesis on pecs-as-literature, Dannii vs. The Crowd Chorus, and a helpline for anyone emotionally unprepared to see a pair of boxer-briefs treated like the Crown Jewels.