The Word – Series 3, Episode 11, 22/01/93

The Word – Series 3, Episode 11 (22 Jan 1993)

We open with Gloworm turning the studio into a Pentecostal rave—hands in the air, eyes to heaven, bassline to hell—proving you can praise the Lord and the 909 in the same chorus.

Former host Amanda de Cadenet swoops back in to roast the show like a fond ex at a wedding speech: breastfeeding updates, LA acting classes, crystals are mostly nonsense, and yes, she phoned to complain about last week’s slurs because someone has to be the adult in a room that contains several fog machines and a soft-focus lens.

The tabloid whiplash continues with a dispatch from America’s id: Howard Stern—radio tyrant, TV pariah, moral panic piñata. We get the greatest hits: leering segments, sponsors shamelessly wedged between stunts, Stuttering John weaponised against red carpets, and the moment taste finally packed its bags. Verdict from the couch: huge ratings, larger eyebrows, and a national conversation conducted entirely in italics.

Back on British soil, The Word invents competitive dining. Enter Yorkshire cowboy Reg James and his 72-ounce steak challenge: four volunteers, one hour, a stopwatch, and a cardiologist screaming into a pillow somewhere in Harrogate. It’s Man vs Food before Man knew he was in a fight.

Then, the cultural palate cleanser you didn’t know you needed: Baywatch’s newest lifeguards. Pamela Anderson, David Charvet, and Alexandra Paul confirm there was an acting audition (promise), and a swim test (speedos confirm). Pamela and David already knew each other—hand-holding on day one mildly alarms the producers—while Alexandra radiates “competent adult who could actually save you,” a radical new direction for television.

Also on the billing: Coronation Street’s bad boy (Nigel Pivaro) pops up to glower charmingly; Dinosaur Jr. detune the nation’s eardrums with grunge so slack it needs a belt; and a teaser for a “beautiful bodies vs. pigs” audience bit that is either satire, a sociology experiment, or proof the 90s required supervision.

Final score: one sanctified banger, one returning presenter with receipts, one American scandal reel, one steak the size of a duvet, three lifeguards auditioning for your adolescence, and Dinosaur Jr. to sandblast the glaze off it all. Chaotic, tasteless, deeply 1993—The Word remains the only show that can segue from Baywatch CPR to BSE (Beef, Steak, Everything) without changing key.