i gotta finish my whiskey

I gotta finish my whiskey
gotta polish off this bottle
even though it's 70%
I gotta finish my whiskey
gotta polish off this bottle
even though it's 70%

I gotta finish my whiskey,
before my wife finds out,
that I’ve been drinking again.
I gotta finish my whiskey,
before my wife finds out,
that I’ve been drinking again.

I gotta finish my whiskey,
gotta polish off this glass,
if she catches me again, she’ll be kicking my ass.
I tried to spray some cologne,
to hide the smell on my breath,
but then she said I stank
like a brewery of death!

I told her I was “fasting,”
just water and some tea,
but then she saw me stumble,
and trip over the TV.
I said, “I’m doing yoga,
just practicing my fall,”
but she didn’t buy it—
she’s heard that one before!

I gotta finish my whiskey,
before my wife finds out,
that I’ve been drinking again.
I gotta finish my whiskey,
before my wife finds out,
that I’ve been drinking again.

I hid the bottle sideways,
right under our bed,
but she found it last Tuesday,
stop your drinking she said!
Now I stash ‘em in the garden,
behind the barbecue,
she said, “Boy, if you keep this up,
I’ll be drinking more than you!”

I gotta hide the evidence,
flush the glass down the sink,
she can always smell it,
no matter what I think.
I gotta chew some chewing gum,
pretend it’s just the mint,
hope she won’t be asking
where the rent money went.

I gotta finish my whiskey,
before my wife finds out,
that I’ve been drinking again.
I gotta finish my whiskey,
before my wife finds out,
that I’ve been drinking again.