Verstitution Pt15

Pt14: https://rumble.com/v6y7wr0-verstitution-pt14.html / 13: v6xxrp0-verstitution-pt13.html / 12: https://rumble.com/v6xr50q-verstitution-pt12.html / 11: v6xmsci-verstitution-pt11.html / 10: v6xl4ii-verstitution-pt10.html / 6: https://rumble.com/v6x4cf2-verstitution-pt6.html

[1 of the 4 officers dashes over to Ernest, Madison, and Garfield.]

Officer 1: "What the hell happened to Donaldson?!"

Madison: "He slipped on the plastic sheet and banged his head on Claudia's chair."

O1: "Is he only knocked out... or...?"

Ernest: "We haven't checked his pulse yet."

O1: "How long has it been since he fell?"

Ernest: "Not too long."

O1: "Oh, really? That's very interesting in light of what I heard rather urgently about saliva. Kindly explain that to me, and consider yourself under oath Mister...?"

Ernest: "Kittenish. Ernest Kittenish. Oops!"

O1: "'Oops' WHAT?!"

Ernest: "I was remembering Garfield's twin brother, Heathcliff, from yesterday, insisting that I not announce my name like James Bond."

O1: "I DON'T CARE!" We may be wasting precious time!"

[Officer 1 looks down at Madison and is briefly awestruck by her virtual nudity, seeing it for the first time.]

O1: "Uh... wuh... muh... Miss? Please step aside so I may check Donaldson's pulse."

[The officer feels Garfield's wrist, sighs painfully, then checks the neck. He begins performing CPR.]

O1: "Will somebody please call for an ambulance?!"

Ernest: "There's one on the way to retrieve the doctor."

Madison: "If Garfield doesn't make it, the ambulance can hold 2 bodies, right?"

[The officer glares at Madison while he continues compressions, then looks over at Ernest.]

O1: "You and I are going to have that conversation about saliva once the paramedics arrive."

Madison: [Looking at O1] "It's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be. I slapped him a few times. That's all."

O1: "You WHAT?!"

Madison: "To see if he was conscious after the fall."

O1: [Squinting eyes and grimacing] "I fail to see how that relates to shouting about saliva."

Ernest: "I tuh..."

O1: "NO! Let her speak! I don't want you covering for her."

Madison: "Ernest told me that it wasn't a great idea to be leaving prints on his face, and I was going to clean them off with a tissue I'd moistened with my tongue."

O1: "Hahahaha!"

Ernest: "You're laughing while performing CPR on an officer who may die?"

O1: "Hey?! Funny is funny, and Donaldson's a creep."

Ernest: "No argument there."

O1: "But how did he fall?"

Madison: "He grabbed my arm, suddenly, when I got up to get some coffee, and my reflexes kicked in. He must've been standing on top of the sheet at the time."

O1: "Yeah, that checks out. If you were lying, I'd know, based on my mercenary training, prior to joining the force."

Ernest: "Why did you quit?"

O1: "I can't tell you that."

Madison: "Your cover got blown, I bet."

O1: "I think you watch too many movies, Miss. Face-to-face interaction in counterintelligence nowadays is rare to the point of aberration."

[The 2nd team of paramedics arrives to retrieve the doctor. Ernest sees the men in their charcoal grey jumpsuits entering the restaurant.]

Ernest: [Waving arms] "OVER HERE!"

Medic 3: "I'm sorry, but I thought we were dispatched to retrieve a body."

O1: "My partner took a spill and hit his head several minutes after the other gentleman collapsed and died. I wasn't here to see that."

Medic 3: "How long have you been doing compressions?"

O1: "A couple o' minutes."

[Ernest stands up from his chair.]

Ernest: "Madison? Did you wanna get some food?"

Madison: "Sure. I'm starving. Nearly killing two people and seeing a resurrected restaurant manager scare a doctor to death takes a lot out of a young lady."

O1: "Do you mind? I'm certain that you're innocent, but Officer Donaldson isn't out of the woods yet."

Madison: [Shaking her head] "No, I don't mind at all. Garfield grabbed me and scared me. I'm not about to lose an appetite over that weasely weenie. Let's go, Ernest."

[The officer widens his eyes and exhales frustratingly at the display of apathy.]

Medic 3: "Charging! CLEAR!"

[Claudia and Symke return to the restaurant. Both are shocked and bewildered by the semi-distant sight of paramedics working on someone on the floor.]

Claudia: "MORE Lazarus Syndrome?!"

[Claudia quickly recognizes how unlikely that would be, and begins to panic.]

Claudia: [Scared] "WAIT?! I can't see Ernest! ERNEST?!"

[Ernest says "Uh oh" incoherently from one of the buffet's food stations, finding himself in the predicament of having a mouthful of cheese blintzes. Claudia is not in sight, but the urgency of her tone suggests that she may come running to find him. He expels the blintzes onto his plate, hoping that they'll pass for scrambled eggs to an untrained eye.]

Madison: [Repulsed] "Gross! Thanks, Ernie! NOW I've lost my appetite."

Ernest: "What? I was hungry."

Madison: "That's not what it looked like to me."

Ernest: [Shrugging] "You heard Claudia crying out to me. You'd have done the same thing."

Madison: "No. I'd have run to the ladies' room to puke, which I might do anyway, so thanks, again."

Ernest: "My displeasure. Those blintzes were delicious, and I'm starving. I don't know if I could eat them now, though. Do you want them?"

Madison: "Ewwwwww! I was joking, but I'm seriously about to vomit!"

Ernest: "Don't worry. I'll stop."

Madison: "Thank you."

[As Claudia hurriedly searches the restaurant, Medic #3 is heard shouting, "We've got a rhythm!"

Claudia sees Ernest at the food station and runs towards him.]

Medic 3: "Grab 'im by the shoulders."

Claudia: "Ernest, could you...?"

Medic 3: "Okay, wait a second. Put that down."

Ernest: "Could I...?"

Claudia: "Put down your plate."

Medic 3: "Now grab 'im."

[Claudia throws her arms around Ernest.]

Ernest: "What happened, Claudia?"

Claudia: "I thought that was you on the floor when Symke and I returned from the lobby."

Ernest: "Oh, wow... I'm sorry you had to see that without knowing who it was, Claudia. Garfield slipped on the plastic and hit his head."

Medic 3: "Let's get 'im outta here."

Claudia: "Shall we find another table, away from the doctor?"

Ernest: "I believe that would be best. I'll wait here while you get yourself some food."

Symke: "Let's go, Kittenish! Come with me, out to the lobby!"

Ernest: "Is it okay if I have something to eat first, Detective?"

Symke: "I don't care. I get paid whether you're eating or answering my questions. After Claudia's testimony as a fellow peace officer, this is all looking like a formality. We may never know the manager's side, based on what I'm told of the severity of his injuries. Enjoy your breakfast, then come get me when you're finished."

Ernest: "Okay, Detective. Thank you."

Symke: "What about you, Ms. Holloway?"

Madison: "I'm having breakfast, too. Can it wait?"

Symke: "Of course. I suppose I'll get myself some grub, too. Not many people will be eating after that scene."

[Officer 1 steps into the buffet service area to help himself.]

Ernest: "Did the paramedics take the doctor away?"

O1: "Yeah, they did. With Donaldson being given a cervical collar as a precaution, there's no way that he was going to see the doctor on the floor, and they double-bagged him for odor control."

Ernest: "Hey, Madison? They double-bagged that doctor and hauled his body away. I'll get somebody to mop up any blood, cerebro-spinal fluid, or goo, so Claudia and I will meet you back at the same table."

Madison: "Great! Now I REALLY have to go puke! Literally! If you weren't paying me as much as you are, I'd smack you!"

[Madison sets down her plate and runs to the ladies' room.

Officer 1 furrows his brow and turns to Ernest.]

O1: "Paying her? A woman so much younger than you, dressed like that? Tell me about it."

Ernest: "It's nothing."

O1: "Lie! A "Get Out of Smack Free Card" equals something. When you're done with breakfast, you and Detective Symke are going to enjoy a MUCH longer chat than you would have expected. And I'LL be there as the sharp-witted human polygraph machine, entertaining myself and Detective Symke at your expense."

Ernest: "Super."

O1: "Still gonna be able to eat all that?"

Ernest: [Annoyed] "Yes."

O1: [Catty] "Truth! But I didn't actually need to ask." [Pats Ernest's belly twice and grins.]