Taylor's Kangaroo Court - Taylor in the Dock.

The Defendant: Matthew Taylor
Charge: Faking the suicide of a friend.

Opening of Proceedings:

Judge Kangaroo:
Court is now in session. The defendant, Matthew Taylor, stands accused of deception—specifically, of fabricating the death of a woman known as Babs, by suicide. The court will hear the evidence, the defence, and the verdict.

Prosecution’s Case:

Prosecutor (for the Trolls):
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the case before you is clear. The defendant knowingly lied to the YouTube public, announcing that Babs had taken her own life. He claimed to have received a phone call from her husband, stating she was dead.

The consequences of such an act are severe. His lie caused confusion, outrage, and gave ammunition to his critics. Moreover, he attempted to attribute responsibility for her supposed death to one man—AJ Lashbrook.

We charge that this was done to cause alarm, distress, and fear, using a falsehood as a weapon. The court must decide if this was a calculated act of malice, or merely a desperate mistake.

Defence’s Case:

Defence Counsel (Taylor, in his own words):
I plead guilty to the lie. I did announce that Babs had died. But I plead not guilty to the intent of causing alarm, distress, or fear.

Here are the facts:

The Troll’s Abuse.
AJ Lashbrook had relentlessly attacked Babs, sending vile and demeaning messages. One such message read:
“Scabby ain’t you topped yourself yet. Please hurry up you dirty benefit cheat and guess what, I stand by calling you a nonce, as you were the one that proved yourself to be a nonce.”
Let it be noted: Babs is neither a benefit cheat, nor a nonce.

The Idea.
It was not my idea to fake her death. It was Babs herself who, out of desperation, believed that if Lashbrook thought she was dead, he would stop. For months she asked me to do it. For months I refused.

The Moment of Weakness.
On the day I lost my Uncle Derek, I was grieving, emotionally raw, and I relented. I used the genuine pain of losing my uncle to echo her request. I said that I had been told by her husband that she had died.

No Exploitation.
I did not build on the story. I did not harass Lashbrook further. I did not milk the lie for attention. I said it once, then I stopped.

The Truth Revealed.
Years later, the truth came out. I was exposed as a liar. I accept that shame. I admit it openly before this court. But my intent was not to terrorise or to torment—my intent was to protect a friend in crisis.

Cross-Examination:

Prosecutor:
Mr. Taylor, do you accept that your lie gave trolls the ammunition they needed to brand you a deceiver forevermore?

Defendant:
Yes, I accept that.

Prosecutor:
Do you accept that some people—your critics and the wider public—were misled and felt distressed?

Defendant:
Yes, I accept that too.

Prosecutor:
And yet you maintain you are not guilty of intending to cause fear to AJ Lashbrook?

Defendant:
Correct. My intention was solely to honour a desperate request from a friend who was under genuine attack. I sought to end her torment, not to create his.

Closing Statements:

Prosecution:
The lie itself is undeniable. The harm it caused is undeniable. Intent may be disputed, but the recklessness is plain.

Defence:
I acted out of compassion, not cruelty. My weakness was not malice but grief. I accept guilt for the lie, but reject guilt for malicious intent.

Verdict:
Judge Kangaroo:
The court finds as follows:
On the charge of lying about the suicide of Babs: GUILTY.
On the charge of intending alarm, distress, or fear towards AJ Lashbrook: NOT GUILTY.

Sentence:
The defendant is sentenced to the eternal label of “Liar Once, But Not Malicious.” He will forever carry the stain of his falsehood, but the court acknowledges the motive was compassion, not cruelty.

Court is adjourned.