Why Threatening to Leave Might Not Mean What You Think

Some people threaten to break up—or even end a marriage—again and again. It’s confusing, frustrating, and it can feel manipulative.

But often, those threats aren’t really about wanting to leave. They’re a form of self-protection.

If someone has been through trauma, repeated breakups, or abandonment, threatening to walk away can become a preemptive strike. It’s a way of saying, “I’ll end this before you get the chance to hurt me.”

Understanding this doesn’t excuse the behavior—but it does explain it. When you recognize the origins of those threats, you can stop reacting with fear or anger and start responding with compassion, curiosity, and healthier communication.

That’s the kind of work we do in Marriage in Bloom—a six-month marriage intensive designed to help couples uncover the roots of destructive patterns, heal old wounds, and build the safety needed for lasting connection.

Learn more here: https://debbiecaudle.com/therapy-for-christian-couples/

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