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WTF! Rabbit ‘Tentacle’ Virus, Elon Musk Suing Apple & Ronaldo Finally Did It!!
TODAY ON NEWSSDDDADDYYY!!
**ELON MUSK VS APPLE: APP STORE “MANIPULATION” LAWSUIT?**
Elon says Apple is rigging **App Store rankings** to favor rival **AI apps** (👀 OpenAI), and claims **xAI** will sue for **antitrust**. He got fact-checked (DeepSeek & Perplexity have hit #1), Sam Altman chimed in, and now it’s billionaire beef o’clock. Is Elon onto something… or just stirring the pot?
**RABBITS WITH “TENTACLES”? WHAT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING**
Those viral pics of rabbits with horn/tentacle-like growths are **real** but not sci-fi. It’s **Shope papilloma virus**—recorded since the 1930s—creating keratin growths. It’s **not transmissible to humans**, but wildlife officials say don’t approach or stress the animals. Disturbing? Yes. The Last of Us? Not quite.
**UK “FREE SPEECH”… BY MEME VAN**
After **JD Vance** warned the UK is losing free speech, activists rolled a giant **bald Vance meme van** through his holiday town with “How’s that for free speech, JD?” A+ pettiness. This comes as reports flag **UK free-expression concerns**—so is the meme tour proof speech is fine, or does a tougher test await?
**5 DAYS, 5 NIGHTS: MAN SLEEPS WHILE SWIMMING**
Swiss endurance swimmer **Noam Yaron** is attempting the **longest continuous swim**—**Corsica to Monaco (112 miles)**—claiming he can “sleep” mid-stroke by shutting off half his brain **like a dolphin** (with hypnosis). Night guidance line, eyes closed, pure grind—all to spotlight the **Pelagos Sanctuary** and ocean protection.
**NORTH KOREAN FORCED LABOR IN RUSSIA?**
A BBC investigation alleges **thousands of North Korean workers** are in Russia under **slave-like conditions** (18-hour days, beatings, 2 days off a year). NK labor exports are **UN-sanctioned** since 2019, but sources say up to **50,000** workers could be sent. Propaganda spin in the comments or a hard, sourced reality?
**WORLD’S WORST ASSASSIN?**
Meet **Aimee Betro**: flew from Wisconsin to the UK for a hit… wore a bad disguise, left a **cell-phone trail**, took a **taxi** to the scene, aimed in front of **CCTV**—and the **gun jammed**. Victim survived, she’s convicted, and her defense? “Another American woman” who looks/sounds/acts exactly like her. Netflix, call your lawyers.
**CRISTIANO RONALDO IS ENGAGED — THAT RING 😳**
After nearly a decade together, **CR7** proposed to **Georgina Rodríguez**. The rock? Estimated **~30–40 carats** and possibly **$3–$15M**—one of the priciest celebrity engagement rings ever. Flex level: “top Jeff Bezos’ ring.” Cringe or king behavior?
—
If you’re still traumatized by last video’s outfit, hit **Subscribe**, smash **Like**, and drop takes: **Is Apple gaming the App Store? Should the UK meme harder? Can you dolphin-sleep IRL?**
**Keywords for the algorithm gremlins:** Elon Musk sues Apple, Apple App Store antitrust, xAI vs OpenAI, JD Vance free speech UK, meme van JD Vance, rabbits horn growth Shope papilloma, Fort Collins rabbits virus, Noam Yaron longest continuous swim, Corsica to Monaco swim, Pelagos Sanctuary, North Korea workers Russia BBC, forced labor Russia, Aimee Betro failed assassin, Cristiano Ronaldo engagement, Georgina Rodriguez ring price, 35 carat diamond ring.
00:00 - introducing
00:54 - ELON VS APPLE
03:08 - THE LAST OF US RABBITS
04:56 - FREE SPEECH IN THE UK
06:28 - SLEEP SWIMMING
08:30 - NORTH KOREAN SLAVES IN RUSSIA?
11:08 - ASSASSINS PLEAD
13:15 - RONALDO FINDS AN INFINITY STONE
16:31 - DONT FEED THE RABBITS!
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