TheDimNews LIVE: Belated Birthday Bash 2025!

Join Alex and me for a live stream, tonight at 10 ET! Covering this week's news and other junk.

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LIVE CHAT:

Qriist
Supporter+
$1
THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. THIS PIRATED BIRTHDAY BASH HAS BEEN SEIZED BY THE FBI DUE TO UNLAWFUL DISTRIBUTION. THIS ENDS THE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.

MudderFetcher more like Tomorrow-ish r+confusedtravolta

Qriist Supporter+ the stream chat broke, apparently. There was a bunch of conversation before my superchat.

Qriist Supporter+ I said "You wouldn't download a birthday bash -FBI" and then JQD said was uploading this birthday bash to several torrent sites

MudderFetcher revoke Alex's security clearance right meow!

JQuickDraw Supporter Can I buy a super vibration? Asking for a friend.

Qriist Supporter+ Is your friend a WNBA player?

JQuickDraw Supporter They're a dildo enthusiast.

Qriist Supporter+ I provide only the highest ranked twats.

MudderFetcher want me to watch sportsball? start throwing sex toys around

JQuickDraw Supporter Or they could use the sex toys as the "ball" in sportsball.

MudderFetcher a Mick Foley match I think

Qriist Supporter+ There is only dildo and dildon't. There is no diltry. -Yoda

MudderFetcher yup Mick Foley

JQuickDraw Supporter "To throw the dildo, use the force you must." - Yoda

JQuickDraw Supporter Beverly unwittingly describing the old school women's lingerie football league.

Qriist Supporter+ Luke, I am your WNBA manager. -Darth Vader

JQuickDraw Supporter "Noooo!" - Luke

MudderFetcher Symphony of the Night is the sexiest Castlevania

MudderFetcher if y'all like vampire sex scenes lemme tell ya about True Blood

MudderFetcher Cactus Jack = Mick Foley

JQuickDraw Supporter Wait a minute. His name is Alucard? I think I figured something out.

Qriist Supporter+ "You seem uncomfortable watching this hentai scene. You'll feel better if you hold my tentacle." -The Ginger

MudderFetcher 🐙 🐙 🐙

JQuickDraw Supporter The fans are really chairing them on.

MudderFetcher Terry Funk is basically Cactus Jack's mentor and their matches were always insane

JQuickDraw Supporter @Qriist Are all redheads secret tentacle monsters?

Qriist Supporter+ it's where they store the souls they steal

MudderFetcher each sucker is a soul

JQuickDraw Supporter But I thought gingers had no souls. I'm so confused.

MudderFetcher "Don't you try to tell me about art! I'm on the fucking council!" -Beverly

Qriist Supporter+ @JQuickDraw the souls get digested after Hannaukah

JQuickDraw Supporter @Qriist Don't bring Moetown into this.

MudderFetcher 90s gangster rap will also deter predators

Qriist Supporter+ I mean, Leia DID kiss her brother, of course she's retarded.

JQuickDraw Supporter Ginger lingers behind the tour, staring a a piece of art. Beverly: "Stop being retarded."

Qriist Supporter+ that's why Beverly started pulling The Ginger around by his tentacle, so he doesn't get lost.

Qriist Supporter+ cathartic's a good word, I like it

JQuickDraw Supporter I'm a practicing Roman Cathartic.

Qriist Supporter+ My heart goes out to you, Roman Cathartic.

MudderFetcher wait...are there escape rooms that serve booze? I might need to rethink my stance on escape rooms

MudderFetcher sign-up, get shitfaced, Kool-Aid Nan my way out

JQuickDraw Supporter I thought she meant it was a book that contained alcohol. Perfect for a night of reading and passing out.

MudderFetcher Kool-Aid Nan is a great typo

MudderFetcher she was a ghost writer

Qriist Supporter+ hawnted

JQuickDraw Supporter I love the Ghost Writer comic book. Johnny Page uses a flaming typewriter to craft soul searing stories.

Qriist Supporter+ I read like the entire ghostwriter kids novels when I was young

Qriist Supporter+ loved the cheesy show, too lol

MudderFetcher all of us will be stowed away in the overhead compartment

Qriist Supporter+ @MudderFetcher pffft real men stowaway on the wing by their fingertips

JQuickDraw Supporter I'll be Beverly comfort human on the flight. That came out wrong.

MudderFetcher need those Tom Cruise thetan levels to survive that

Egerog hi all

JQuickDraw Supporter what up

MudderFetcher Alex's Sean Connery impression should happen more often

JQuickDraw Supporter The Book of Kelis? I didn't think the Irish were that crazy about American hip hop artists.

JQuickDraw Supporter What's in it? A list of people she's hated over the years?

JQuickDraw Supporter I'm always amazed at how easily I amuse myself in public.

MudderFetcher Run-DRMC is copyright protected

Egerog I will be running a StarWars RPG soon, a friend will be streaming it on Youtube

Egerog It is a plot line in Flowers in the Attic. thats is the crap people read in the early 80s

Qriist Supporter+ "Luke, the Force strengthens the closer knit our family tree becomes."

JQuickDraw Supporter They should have replaced Leia with Chewbacca in the love triangle.

MudderFetcher turns-out The Force is just incestuous attraction

MudderFetcher hence Sith Lord Joe Biden

Qriist Supporter+ There are some species that are immune to Force mind tricks, but are there any that are immune to Force condoms?

MudderFetcher we need to check R2D2's holodrive...that droid has seen some shit

JQuickDraw Supporter I love doing twats.

JQuickDraw Supporter In the cunt corner.

MudderFetcher Hotdogs down the Hershey highway

wesley1924 Supporter++ hello

JQuickDraw Supporter "Excuse me, may I insert my beefy dog into your ovaltine?"

MudderFetcher "I Realized Something About Hotdogs" -The Alex Story

MudderFetcher loose hotdogs and boxes everywhere *glance-glance*

JQuickDraw Supporter "Witnesses say a large French's mustard truck and a Wonderbread bun truck were seen careening toward the spilled hot dog scene."

JQuickDraw Supporter Waking up halfway into the night for a couple of hours then going back to sleep is how people usually did it in the middle ages. It's called biphasic sleep.

MudderFetcher the Texans I know fucking hate Abbott and make fun of him often

MudderFetcher he half-asses stuff...zero teeth in his measures

JQuickDraw Supporter @MudderFetcher He just needs to get his feet under him, then he'll be able to leg it out.

MudderFetcher and now she has double the parking privileges

Qriist Supporter+ Contrast: The youtuber King of Random died about 5 years ago from a hang glider malfunction.

Qriist Supporter+ Even though both were doing dangerous stuff, I have way more sympathy for him than this chick because he wasn't being needlessly reckless.

JQuickDraw Supporter The Roman Empire fell in part because they kept expanding and taking on new groups, and those people often did not care about Roman culture or values.

Qriist Supporter+ ^

MudderFetcher totally irrelevant to current year clearly

Qriist Supporter+ they spread themselves too thin, and senate corruption was absolutely rampant. Soldiers weren't allowed to start families but also weren't getting their salt wages, prime defection conditions.

JQuickDraw Supporter If the law says A, but a large enough percentage of the population believes (with religious fervor) that it should be B instead of A, you get clashes and eventually civil war.

JQuickDraw Supporter "Hey, look what I built. Just jump in. It's safe." *points to the Grand Canyon*

Qriist Supporter+ @JQuickDraw except in her case it more like the rain gutter

MudderFetcher "laboratories of democracy" is what we were told

JQuickDraw Supporter We SHOULD be a group of nation-states loosely held together by a weak federal government with a very small and specific set of responsibilities.

MudderFetcher so glad I'm not part of any nerd communities

MudderFetcher solid gold is very expensive

MudderFetcher every bathroom IS a ballroom

Qriist Supporter+ the ballroom is in a building that doesn't yet exist

Qriist Supporter+ the 200m price tag includes the construction of an entire new White House wing

MudderFetcher Donald Trump spending his money on opulent gaudy bullshit? Sounds like a conspiracy theory

JQuickDraw Supporter "We're here for the convening of the 64th annual convention of the International Introverts and Individualists Institute. Thank you, and goodbye. See you all next year."

MudderFetcher Harry Potter and the Phantom Hymen

JQuickDraw Supporter Harry Potter and the Chamber of Virgins.

MudderFetcher lmfao

JQuickDraw Supporter "Harry, you speak Pussytongue? You really ARE a wizard."

MudderFetcher no small eyes, no visible gums...Matt and Trey barely even tried

MudderFetcher they were taking time off from politics...for four stolen years

JQuickDraw Supporter If they hate everyone they mock, then trans people are in trouble. Macho Madam is one of the greatest things ever made lol.

JQuickDraw Supporter Usually, fascists and communist dictators make political opponents disappear. They don't bring back into the office to vote on shit.

MudderFetcher "This is Creepy and I Love it" is my life story

JQuickDraw Supporter Deport Kal-El. No exceptions.

JQuickDraw Supporter Beverly wants to taste that Clark bar, if you know what I mean.

MudderFetcher Clarke is the sexiest surname

Qriist Supporter+ here's a Clark for ya https://www.youtube.com/shorts/21AtxFbOjPo

MudderFetcher from the top rope

Qriist Supporter+ Now I gotta expel Luigi from the unibrow union.

MudderFetcher he hurt his back killing a guy

JQuickDraw Supporter It's okay, she's a woman, so she'll get much less time for shagging a child than a man would, and he'll have to pay child support when he turns 18 if she gets pregnant.

JQuickDraw Supporter Punishing the child for the sins of the parents. Ironically, that's very biblical of her.

Qriist Supporter+ If I had anything to go on I would have reported that person to the police.

JQuickDraw Supporter I think he means the name of the dessert tells you what's in it, so you shouldn't have to ask what it is.

Qriist Supporter+ The story takes place in Thailand, talking to a woman from German, and they are presumably speaking English. So many layers of translation in that conversation.

JQuickDraw Supporter Speaking Spanish means you're a different race?

Qriist Supporter+ Someone who grew up in an English-speaking country, proooobably knows English.

Qriist Supporter+ 20 year cliffed retirement

Qriist Supporter+ They are being discharged on mental health grounds. They probalby will get a medical pension.

JQuickDraw Supporter @Qriist They would have to admit it's a mental illness. Tough choice, there.

MudderFetcher Miss Sweeney if ya fancy

MudderFetcher if tits start selling cargo shorts please lemme know

Qriist Supporter+ A bit above that twat in Discord, I dropped a sample of NPR, NBC, and Vox articles bitching about the Sweeney ad. It was EVERYWHERE for several days.

Qriist Supporter+ ("It" being media outrage)

JQuickDraw Supporter So if I call the cops and have my crazy girlfriend removed from my house, does that make my house a woman?

Qriist Supporter+ *grafts a functional spleen to Alex's fallopian tubes*

Qriist Supporter+ THE SPLEEN IDENTIFIES AS FALLOPIAN TUBES

Qriist Supporter+ also that guy standing next to Trump is Epstein's neighbor, apparently.

Qriist Supporter+ bald guy on right

Qriist Supporter+ trump's left

JQuickDraw Supporter 4 years? Epstein has been around for decades. If Trump's not guilty of anything, he's covering for people who are at this point.

Qriist Supporter+ cagey

JQuickDraw Supporter "For more juicy details on my craaaazy ex wife, check out my new girlfriend's OnlyFans."

Qriist Supporter+ " Follow me to find out about these other lived I've ruined :D "

MudderFetcher remove sharp objects

MudderFetcher I just missed Beverly

Qriist Supporter+ instructions unclear, flying to Ireland for the livestream

JQuickDraw Supporter Be-Late Birthday Bash (accurate description for Beverly's streams)

JQuickDraw Supporter Happy Transgender Month

purpletiger69 Good night

MudderFetcher lmfao

JQuickDraw Supporter Just keep the stream going through August

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