Verstitution Pt8

Pt7: https://rumble.com/v6x7qh8-verstitution-pt7.html
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O.D.: "Kittenish? Do you waste the courts' time as often as you do mine?"

Ernest: "I'm currently serving 10 days in jail for contempt; whadda you think?"

O.D.: "Huh? Well, we'll chat later as to why you're in a bank while you're in jail, but for now I have to deal with Ms. Nichols."

[Donaldson motions for Penny to approach him for quieter conversation, in case Ms. Guardino is eavesdropping.

Penny walks over from the 'new accounts' section toward Officer Donaldson, at the start of the oak / brass railing.]

O.D.: "Ms. Nichols? Do you know if anyone else is back there with Ms. Guardino, and does she have any means of escape?"

Penny: "She's the only one in that wing, and she's stuck in there without food or water."

O.D.: "You have a key, correct?"

Penny: "I do, yes."

O.D.: "There's no emergency exit for which she might disable the alarm?"

Penny: "She doesn't know the code for that, but it's a silent alarm that only alerts the police... and the fire department if the smoke alarms are triggered."

O.D.: [Frustrated] "Great! First let's go inside to see whether or not she's still there. If she's not, I'm going to need any list of personal references she may have provided during the application process. I doubt she'd be stupid enough to run to a family member's house."

Ernest: "You'd want to check her social media, too, Officer Donaldson, for anyone in town."

O.D.: [Annoyed] "Don't tell me how to do my job, Kittenish."

Lewis: "I need to use the restroom."

O.D.: "Super. Now I have to call for back-up."

Ernest: "No, you don't."

O.D.: "What did I just finish telling you, Kittenish?!"

Ernest: "All you have to do is check the electronic record of the emergency exit alarm being activated, and then you'll know that back-up is on its way. In fact, there they are, now."

[5 squad cars are seen pulling into the parking spaces closest to the entrance.]

O.D.: "Alright. I'm taking Lewis to the restroom, or I'll be brought up on charges of cruel and unusual punishment. If anyone from the squadron needs me as the 1st responder, you know what to tell them."

Lewis: "That you're a jackass?"

O.D.: "That will be used against you, Lewis."

Lewis: "How?"

O.D.: "ANYTHING you say can... AND WILL... be used against you. You could tell me your favorite ice cream flavor, and that will be used against you. That's the law. 'Will' equals must. What IS your favorite ice cream flavor?"

Lewis: "I like pistachio."

O.D.: "What's the least tolerable flavor to you?"

Lewis: "Rocky Road."

O.D.: "That settles it, then. I'm calling an ice cream delivery service, and Rocky Road cones or cups for everyone. No pistachio. See what I mean?"

Penny: "Shouldn't you take Mr. Lewis to the restroom as soon as possible, Officer Donaldson?"

O.D.: "I'll take him now, but he called me a jackass, so he was begging for a browbeating. Besides, no one who has to use a restroom urgently while dependent upon an officer to accomplish that task insults that officer without provocation."

Ernest: "I'm quite sure you provoked him, Officer Donaldson."

O.D.: "Not within the last 5 minutes."

Lewis: "I like Rocky Road okay."

O.D.: "But you said it's the least tolerable, and I've already promised everyone."

Lewis: "Least tolerable doesn't mean that I HATE it."

O.D.: "Before this day is done, Lewis, I will find a way to use your favorite and least tolerable ice cream flavors against you, AND your request to use the restroom."

Lewis: "And me calling you a jackass?"

O.D.: "That goes without saying."

[The 5 officers, having noticed Donaldson's squad car, enter the bank to find out who the first responder is, prior to taking any action.]

Lieutenant: "I'm Lieutenant York. Who's in charge here?"

Penny: "I am, sir."

Lt: "Why aren't you in uniform?"

Penny: "I'm the branch manager, sir: Penny Nichols, and, no, that's not a joke."

Lt: [Smiling] "Fine. So where is the first responding officer?"

Penny: "Uh... He's in the restroom watching our security guard."

Lt: "What?! Watching?! Why?"

Penny: "Mr. Lewis, the security guard at this branch, detained Mr. Kittenish, the man to my left, for trespassing."

Lt: "I fail to see how that explains an officer watching the guard in the bathroom."

Penny: "Mr. Kittenish didn't actually trespass. Ms Guardino didn't bother asking him to leave."

Lt: "Guard? Guardino? Are we still talking about the same person?"

Penny: "No. Ms. Amelita Guardino is one of our tellers. Jackson Lewis is the guard."

Lt: "Let me see if I understand this. Ms. Guardino falsely accused Mr. Kittenish of trespassing, Mr. Lewis trusted that a detention was justified, and he's now under arrest and being supervised in the bathroom so that he won't escape?"

Penny: "That's correct, sir, and I apologize. I've not been a terrific host as of yet. Do you officers prefer cups or cones for Rocky Road?"

Lt: "What?! I don't grasp how that relates to hospitality, never mind why we're here to respond to the alarm, either. Cups? If all the lanes are blocked by boulders, we don't even have cones."

Penny: "Oh. Sugar cones constipate you?"

Lt: [Abruptly tilts his head back in surprise] "Good grief! Are you offering us ice cream?!"

Penny: "Officer Donaldson is treating everyone."

Lt: "Whatever for?"

Penny: "It's the flavor least tolerated by Mr. Lewis, and Officer Donaldson felt obligated to use it against him because of Miranda."

Lt: "Who's Miranda? Not the warning?"

Penny: "Yes."

Lt: "Never mind that for now. Donaldson is a bit off.. from what I've heard. Let's get to why we're here."

Penny: "Ms. Guardino decided to escape."

Lt: "Okay. If Mr. Lewis is under control and Ms. Guardino is on the run, that's it for our responsibilities."

[Lieutenant York turns his gaze to each of his peers.]

Lt: "Anybody wanna stay for ice cream and tease Donaldson?"

[All 4 officers nod, reply, 'Yes, sir,' and giggle.]