"Princess Bride" Spoof Conclusion (In description)

Recommended audio: https://rumble.com/v6x3jlo-princess-bride-climax-narration-spoof.html

Grandson: "Pickles, Grandpa?! What's goin' on?!"

Grandpa: "Do you wanna hear the rest o' the story or don't you?"

Grandson: [Reuluctant / frustrated] "Yes."

Buttercup: "Oh, my sweet Wesley! Why can't you kiss me?"

Wesley: "Inigo, Fezik, and I have been on the prowl for hours. I needed a sandwich to help restore my strength."

Buttercup: "You think you need to eat a sandwich before you can kiss me?!"

Wesley: "Sour stomach from hunger. Ever kissed anyone suffering sour stomach, Highness."

Buttercup: "No."

Wesley: "And be grateful you haven't. It's no picnic."

Buttercup: "What about the pickles, though?"

Wesley: "What about them?"

Buttercup: "You told me there was a shortage, not an absence."

Wesley: "I'm obviously not a member of the court, so the kitchen staff had no surplus for guests, never mind intruders."

Buttercup: "And?"

Wesley: "And... one can't have a decent sandwich without dill pickle chips."

Buttercup: "Let's go to market, buy a jar of pickles, make sandwiches, and THEN you can kiss me."

Wesley: "Kissing with pickle breath? Again, Highness... no picnic."

Buttercup: "Tonight, then, after we brush our teeth and gargle and swish with oil?"

Wesley: "I suppose."

Buttercup: "This is not a romantic interlude befitting a princess."

Wesley: "But you're not a princess. You MIGHT have been one."

Buttercup: "I hate to say this, Wesley, but I fear that the castle's pantry's pickle deficiency may have cascaded toward the tainting of our courtship. I gather that you'll soon be resuming your role as The Dread Pirate Roberts."

Wesley: "Certainly, but... join me for a sandwich first?"

Buttercup: "Oh, Wesley! You DO love me! Rub your nose against mine, or something."

Grandpa: "And their nose-rubbing put every nose-picking in history to complete shame. The end."

Grandson: "That's not how it ends, Grandpa!"

Grandpa: "As you wish."

Grandson: "What?!"

Grandpa: "You told me to come back tomorrow to read it again."

Grandson: "No, I didn't! Get out o' my room so I can finish my Atari baseball game!"

Grandpa: "As you wish."